Why Did I Get Dumped? Why Did We Break Up? Why, Oh, Why…

Dealing with questions of “why”, that comes up after a break up
After a break up, most people search for some logical reason for the break up. Sometimes the reasons are painfully obvious, other times; you have no idea why you got dumped.

May be your partner is not able to express the exact reasons for the break up. Maybe he does not know why the relationship can’t continue Or perhaps he simply doesn’t want to talk about it.. Whatever it is you know you won’t get the real answers from your ex.

This can make you lose all motivation to do anything but dwell on what went wrong. The plaguing questions of how and why it all went downhill, keeps you up at night. You are waiting for answers that never seem to come, and in the process waste wasting precious time trying to get that closure from an ex who just wasn’t willing to give it.

Thousands of “if’s,” “possibly’s” and “maybes”

Did he misunderstand something?

Maybe she would change her mind if I explain more?

Did he hear something that was not true?

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been. ~John Greenleaf Whittier

STOP… don’t over-analyze things
Yes, I know it’s hard, but constantly replaying conversations and trying to re-evaluate the “evidence” on why you were dumped will make you feel even worse.

Many break ups don’t have a specific cause so don’t obsess about what went wrong . This isn’t to say you shouldn’t reflect on what you could have done differently in the relationship (but it’s not helpful to dwell on the whys and wherefores). Instead, focus on what went right . Even if you won’t have those good old times with that particular person, eventually your heart will heal and you’ll find new great moment with someone new.

Your partner has made the decision to end the relationship. He or she didn’t decide against you, it’s just that they simply decided to move on without you. They will never tell you the real reason why they left. Perhaps, His or her reason may have nothing to do with you!

YOU as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling of not letting go just makes therapists rich!
Life offers humps and bumps along the road. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to be good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt.