For a long time I was wondering what my first post for this New Year should convey. I didn’t want to write about what most people talk of; goals and resolutions. As we begin another yet another year I am trying to get my life back on track after being dumped.

I feel like a shattered house after a hurricane; everything tangible is lost, debris everywhere and only the memories remain. The rest of the world doesn’t seem to understand the devastation and destruction these things have taken on your heart and, in some cases, your mind. When you feel like this, it’s near impossible to visualize about a nice house, you might one day have again.
That analogy sums up my life after break up. I mentioned in my previous post that I don’t really have much hope finding love again or whether I want to go through that pain all over again.

Building Walls Of Hope – Of Love And Relationships

When you lose hope of love, your world becomes darker. You lose the passion to keep moving forward in life. You give up on your dream which you hard earlier (when you were in a relationship). Gradually, it leads to the death of your soul. That could be you (that is me…!)

So, badly and desperately I need hope, hope of love. So with all my heart, I am trying to re-build the walls of hope and I tell myself,

One day you will see that it has all finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself… “How did I get through all of that?”

I hope that “one day”, is soon!

If you are also going through a similar stage in your life, I hope this post gave you some inspiration or motivation, to take one day at a time and build the walls of hope; hope of love and relationship that is yet to come. Over time these pieces of hope, will provide the foundation necessary to scale the wall of lost hope.

rejection after relationship over

1. Know it’s not always your fault

After a relationship is over, you are very likely to take the rejection personally. If he or she dumped you, you may assume that anyone you get involved with will too. And hey let’s not stop there, may be no one likes you; may be you are not attractive enough.. etc You’ll end up working from the premise that to know you are not good enough.

I agree, rejection sucks no matter how sugar coated the reasons are and it’s one of those nasty by-products that come along with dating. The way you handle rejection is important in helping you keep your self-esteem.

When you are rejected, you often want to blame yourselves for being rejected. But the reality is that it’s usually the other person’s problem, not yours. When you faced with rejection you may try to forgive and forget and make excuses for the other person. If you do that you allow the fact that your relationship has ended to reflect inwardly which in turn, makes you feel bad about yourself.

2. Acknowledge that anyone can be rejected

From the book Don’t Take It Personally!: The Art of Dealing with Rejection
“Every human on this earth has been rejected in some way. It is part of the human experience and it does not skip over anyone. Even the most beautiful and successful people in the world have been rejected at some point. You’re not alone.”

You may not want to face the fact that you got rejected, but you did. It happens to everyone and comes as part and parcel of dating. Unfortunately, we all have to go through it at some point in our lives; so you are not alone.

3. Keep yourself busy

Get together with friends, find a new hobby, join a club and keep social. Not only will it be better for you mentally, but it can also serve as an entry point to your next relationship!

4. Don’t give up

Just because you got rejected once, it doesn’t mean you will always get rejected. Keep trying; dealing with rejection is an inevitable part of life. Sooner or later you will find someone.

Host: Do you want to ruin your good relationship with your significant other? Intentionally you might not want that. But what if you were doing just that, without even realizing it?
So I was pondering on this for some time and it made into a blog post!

Below is list(in no particular order) of several seemingly insignificant behaviors, each of which over time serves to erode the love between two people (which leads to a breakup or being dumped!). In reading this list of behaviors you may be embarrassed to recognize parts of yourself – and decide to change some of them on behalf of your relationship.

everyday things people do to ruin thier relationship

1. Thinking you are better than your partner

It’s human that everyone wants to feel valued and important; If you keep thinking that you are always better, and that you know more than your partner in every way, then it will make your partner feel undervalued and unimportant.
For example, if you are in a situation where as you make more money than your partner, or your career is on the right path etc, there is no need to throw it in his face.

2. Trying To Change your partner

This is a classic relationship breaker! However perfect you think your partner is when you first meet them, eventually there will be all sorts of annoying traits that you would like to change about them. Changing your partner is an uphill struggle, can cause problems in your relationship.

3. Not being appreciative

Appreciation is something most of us crave. Encouraging expressions, appreciative gestures and warm acknowledgments form the basis of a healthy relationship. Sometimes you may tend to take things for granted.

4. Blaming your partner for your disappointments

When in a relationship, it’s very easy to keep blaming your partner for your disappointments. It’s one of the most significant ways we destroy our own joy and peace of mind. It is also one of the biggest ways we undermine the other person.

5. You stop communicating with your partner

At the start of every relationship, it seems like people can’t stop talking. You spend countless hours on the phone or cuddled up on a couch somewhere talking to one another.
Sometime with all the busy schedules that both of you have, there might not be any room for “talk time” anymore.

6. Ignoring your partner

They say the one thing worse than being hated by someone is simply to be ignored by them. Being ignored means the person doesn’t even care enough to waste the energy of anger on you.
If you’re ignoring your partner (or vice-a-versa) for any period of time longer than a few days, that’s a sure sign the relationship is in trouble.

7. Accuse your partner of cheating

If you have serious cause to think that your partner is cheating, then you might want to not even bother reading the rest of this list, and go dump him or her now! But if you get a little crazy or paranoid and start throwing out accusations that have no real basis in fact, your partner will probably not stick around to listen to them for very long.

Now that you know the most common relationship killers, it is time to examine yourself and find out if you are guilty of these. If you are, then it is high time you do something about it now, before it is already too late. Safe guard your relationship from ruining.. Its a continuous effort!

Getting Over You Getting Over Me

He’s the first thing I think about every day….. How is he? Does he miss me, like I miss him? How do I get him back? … And another day without him begins.

There’s no denying it; Getting over a break up can be one of the most difficult, heart-wrenching things you’ll ever have to do. You can cry, eat a pound of ice cream and write angry letters to your ex in your online journal, but eventually you have to face reality.

Getting Over You: My Story

Once upon a time (about one year ago) the guy I was madly in love with ended our relationship. (I prefer to say that instead of “he dumped me, abruptly”!) There wasn’t a lot of warning signs on my end. He’d been a bit aloof in the weeks prior, but he brushed it off as “too much work”. I was led to believe that it was work-related stress and accepted that with blind faith.

The few months that followed were miserable. We continued to talk. I was convinced the break up was a big mistake and that he will eventually come to his senses and we will get back together. I was completely absorbed with “what did I do wrong?” “What did I miss?” He had been an amazing boyfriend, that it was very hard for me to consider anything he had done wrong (except dumping me of course!).

Getting Over Me: The Bitter Side

We continued to be “just friends”. A couple months after we broke up, I still went to certain gatherings with him, celebrated his birthday with him, I gave him thoughtful Christmas gifts… etc. I was miserable, but he dangled hope in front of me!

Then in January, I found out that he started seeing someone else. Later, I heard that he had spent Christmas with her family. That’s when I went from miserable to totally devastate.

Getting Over You, Getting Over Me: Lessons learned

Perhaps, that was the whack on the head I needed to move on; let go. That was the moment I realized, there was no point hoping of a future with him. I felt really stupid & ashamed for the way I was pining after him.

1. One of the things that keep most people from moving on (& getting over a break up!) is, holding on to false hope. Some are stuck in limbo with the idea that there might be a chance of getting back together with their ex’s.

2. If you were the one that was being dumped (aka, your partner who called things off! ), often the onus of reuniting lies on them. If you go chasing after someone who is not willing to take you back, not only will you aggravate your relationship with them, you will also damage your self esteem.

3. Being “Just Friends” doesn’t always work. Ok so you tell this person you just want to be friends now. That is probably not a good idea. You will have to deal with hearing about them moving on and seeing other people, which leads to my next point!

4.Jealousy is self destructive. Seeing the one you were with, in the arms of someone else.. gosh it’s damn annoying and frustrating! Jealousy often leads you to do very stupid things, which you might regret later!

Finally, the most important one… getting over a broken heart is a long-term process. You will need to work through your feelings, reach out to others, and focus on yourself. Give yourself permission to experience your feelings as they occur.