“I felt as if she ripped my heart out, stepped on it until it was a bloody pulp and then threw it in a fire and took a large steaming shit on the ashes!”

Another person had a different perspective on being dumped
“I got dumped, such is life”

So, If you also feel as if your heart was ripped out, then the days that follow after you got dumped, can be filled with hurt, anger and many more emotions that make you really miserable.

But despite these feeling towards your ex, sometimes they return, and ask for a second chance.
And surprisingly, the very same people, who had such hatred towards their ex, get back together!

When this happens, you are left to wonder…
Why would someone who dumped you, want you back? Why would they change their mind as time goes by?

You could have a very bad breakup that results in your ex out of a home, lots of financial baggage etc There aren’t that many people who divorce, that get married or go back to that same person again is there? (well if you are Liz Taylor, maybe!)

Here are a few reasons I can think of as to why dumpers return. (Feel free to add your take in the comments)

1. Overacting

The person who dumped you acted irrationally and possibly too hastily.
They are too proud to admit that they over reacted so they hang on and hang on to their decision until finally they realize that the decision was not the best for them after all.

2. Misconception of grass is greener on the other side.

Perhaps you got dumped for someone else and the person they left you for did not live up to their expectations. Or just may be that they got dumped so then go running back to the person they dumped with tail between their legs!

3. Loneliness

Some people breakup just because the relationship was too difficult or because they weren’t happy. Also may be because they were not in love. After having a few months to have gone by, they might realize that no other person is as good/appreciative as you were!. So they get lonely and want you back.

To me this is sort of the worst of its kind. These are the types of people that can just string you along until someone they perceive to be better turns up. However, for the time being, they get the perks and comfort of being in a relationship instead of being alone.

4. Regret

Some people don’t realize what they have lost, until it is gone.

You got dumped because just may be commitment was too difficult for them.
Later they regret since you are no longer in their life and feel depressed. They wake up and think “why do I feel awful without them?, oh my god!! I must love her/him. I want get back with …”
This happens quite a lot in the movies! Sadly, very rarely in real life!

Have your say, leave a comment.

After consuming way too much alcohol, she asked me,

Persha, what hurts more? Being dumped for someone younger, prettier or just getting dumped for other reasons?

Even after several tequila shots, I couldn’t answer that one!

I have been dumped many times but I was never dumped for someone else. Lisa’s question seemed glued to my mind and when “clarity” state of mind arrived the following morning, I felt I should blog about it!
So, here’s my take on this…

• Getting dumped for someone else.. well it might be a big blow on the ego. You naturally, tend to feel that you were not good enough; or that there was something wrong with you that made your partner leave.




• Given the nature of my break ups, I think it would have been easier for me to accept being dumped for someone else than being dumped for no one. I’m thinking it might reduce all the why me, what if and all the activity that went on in my mind when I didn’t know the “actual” reason I got dumped!




• Getting dumped for whatever reason hurts; the hurt and pain would vary based on how much you loved your partner and how much you’ve invested or scarified to make things work. When you are at the receiving end of being dumped, the reason for the break up might not be the reason you are willing to accept.

When we are trying to sort out the irreconcilable differences and rationalize the irrational, “The grass” no matter, how twisted, may look greener on the “other side”. Either way it hurts…

So what do you think? Does getting dumped for someone else hurt less, than being dumped for no one?

• Be thankful that you don’t have to go through any more compromises (for the moment!)
• Be thankful that you can now immerse yourself in something that you always wanted to do but never had the time to do
• Be thankful for the experience you went/going through
• Be thankful that you got dumped now, than later! (the longer the two of you are together the pain of of breaking up would have been more!)
• Be thankful that there will be no fights over whose folks we spend Thanksgiving with!
• Be thankful that you are no longer with him/her…there is something better out there for you.
• Be thankful  -You are stronger already, even if you don’t know it yet.

Related Posts

On Being Dumped: Don’t Cry Over Someone Who Won’t Cry Over You
Why Are You Still Single? Replies Single People Can Give To Ease Yourself Out Of Such Nosy Questions
Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End
Smart Women, Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones (If only it was that easy!)

I got dumped; Is it my fault

1. You gave away your trust easily

2. Your expectations were too high

3. There was no commitment on your part

4. You were too busy

5. Your partner gets bored of you, and doesn’t find you challenging

6. Lack of communication

7. You were too “clingy”

8. Bad habits are frequently displayed

9. You forced your partner into a relationship when he/she didn’t want one

10. You were too controlling

11. You deceived your partner

12. You are always very negative

13. You went into the relationship for the wrong reasons

Any of these sounds familiar?

Related Posts

• Be The Woman Men Adore And Never Want To Leave, yeah right!

• Getting Dumped: 6 Break Up Lines I am Tired Of Hearing

• On Being Dumped: Don’t Cry Over Someone Who Won’t Cry Over You

• Getting Dumped : Lessons Learned From The Men Who Dumped Me

• Never Satisfied: How & Why Men Cheat

May be your partner is not able to express the exact reasons for the break up. Maybe he does not know why the relationship can’t continue Or perhaps he simply doesn’t want to talk about it.. Whatever it is you know you won’t get the real answers from your ex.

This can make you lose all motivation to do anything but dwell on what went wrong. The plaguing questions of how and why it all went downhill, keeps you up at night. You are waiting for answers that never seem to come, and in the process waste wasting precious time trying to get that closure from an ex who just wasn’t willing to give it.

Thousands of “if’s,” “possibly’s” and “maybes”

Why Did I Get Dumped

Maybe she would change her mind if I explain more?

Did he hear something that was not true?

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been. ~John Greenleaf Whittier

STOP… don’t over-analyze things
Yes, I know it’s hard, but constantly replaying conversations and trying to re-evaluate the “evidence” on why you were dumped will make you feel even worse.

Many break ups don’t have a specific cause so don’t obsess about what went wrong . This isn’t to say you shouldn’t reflect on what you could have done differently in the relationship (but it’s not helpful to dwell on the whys and wherefores). Instead, focus on what went right . Even if you won’t have those good old times with that particular person, eventually your heart will heal and you’ll find new great moment with someone new.

Your partner has made the decision to end the relationship. He or she didn’t decide against you, it’s just that they simply decided to move on without you. They will never tell you the real reason why they left. Perhaps, His or her reason may have nothing to do with you!

YOU as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling of not letting go just makes therapists rich!
Life offers humps and bumps along the road. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to be good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt.

When the person you are in love with suddenly leaves you, surviving a break up can seem almost impossible at times. This is especially true, on the first day after a break up. You feel your whole identity is shattered, and that you will never recover from the pain. You stare hopelessly, wishing there was something that would numb this pain of getting dumped. Ending a relationship is among the most stressful things a person can undergo.

First day after a break up: Spend time working, with friends, family or alone?

Most advice columns will tell you that you should not spend the first day after a break up alone. If you have work, go into work; if you do not have work, then make plans with a friend or family member.

Here’s what I say….
There are some who really like to keep to themselves. I am one such person. I prefer to be inside the walls of my home, rather than putting on a happy face and spending time with others. The main reason is that sometimes, friends and family try “too much” to cheer me up. I know they all mean well though….

So bottom line is you must choose to spend the day in a way that is most comfortable to you.

While I agree that you shouldn’t be alone the whole day, I feel it’s ok to have some time for yourself.

But keep in mind that if you spend this first day alone, you might be tempted to call your ex, or you may spend the day wallowing in grief. Isolating yourself and looking to escape reality through alcohol or other means is the wrong way to survive.

First day after a break up: Resisting the urge to call him/her

The downside of staying alone on the first day after a break up is that may be tempted to call your ex. This in my book is a BIG NO. Don’t call him/her and expect them to comfort you. Don’t call at all! Chances are you’ll be even more upset at how indifferent s/he seems to the situation.

Remind yourself that s/he dumped you. S/he didn’t want to do anything with you. And No, they probably wouldn’t have changed their mind in 24 hours.

First day after a break up: Silence the inner critic

You know that questioning, nagging little voice inside you.. the one that is never at a loss to point out your flaws, highlight your doubts and cross-examine you on your decisions? That’s the inner critic.

For me this is the most difficult part. I remind myself that the most important tool that I have at my disposal is my mindset. I have found that the more I analyze things the more upset I get.

First day after a break up: Re-direct the toxic & hateful energy

Spending some time in the gym, or go for a run, swim ….. do something physically exerting. It will keep you fit and focused. It will take your mind off of anything (almost!) and in the end, you will look great.

First day after a break up: Do something nice for yourself

Get a haircut, buy something you’ve been eying, indulge in a nice meal or all three. Be careful not to go to places that remind you of your ex. For example, if you go out to a nice meal, don’t go to the site of your first date!

First day after a break up: What you should never forget

Although things may look bleak and miserable in the immediate aftermath of the break up, the hurt and pain do dissipate gradually, eventually. It will…

Can you recall the first day you got dumped? How did you survive the first day after the break up? What helped you the most? Leave a comment below and share with us.