Just when you think you will be ok, something reminds you of your ex and instantly your inner voice will ramble one of the below or something similar!

I will just make a quick call to say hi
Just this once, I will meet him or her
There is no harm in sending one SMS.

Resist The Urge To Call Your Ex

1. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex

Toss out anything that even remotely reminds you of your ex. This includes things like photographs, old love letters and gifts your ex has given you. I have found this to be very difficult at first, but looking back at it now, I realize that it’s a necessary, step. Hanging on to even one thing can result in you still feeling attached to your ex, so it’s important to ensure that everything goes.

If you find this too hard to do, ask a close friend to help. It will be a bonding experience for both of you and it will help them to feel that they’ve really lent a helping hand in your time of need.

2. Don’t Google your ex!

When you are not with your ex, you are curious about what they are up to. Have you found someone new? Are you still thinking of me? the questions are endless. You are desperate to find the answers and you take the task to the internet. From Facebook to myspace, you want to take a peek at their lives and see how they’re doing. DON’T. Trying to find out details about your ex will only fuel your urge to call your ex. So, stay away!

3. Catch yourself making excuses to call your ex

In your mind you will find some sort of excuse to call your ex. Whether your house got burned or your cat ran away, don’t call your ex! Drama is not a reason to stir up a phone call to the ex. If you really feeling like you need to talk to someone, call a friend until the feeling passes.

4. Keep yourself occupied

When you are sitting still, your thoughts can play tricks on you. It is better to stay busy so you won’t think about your ex, and won’t have the urge to call your ex.
If there is a sport that you enjoy, make it a point to pencil that into your schedule. A set of tennis, swimming in the pool, or anything that takes your energy and your concentration will help keep your mind off of your misery and wanting to call your ex.
If you run out of things to do, here are ways to keep busy after a break up

5. Delete your ex’s phone number from your mobile!

Yes, yes, you have to! During my recent break up I deleted the phone number and then talked myself into being “mature” and added it right back after a couple days. Big mistake! It really does help when you can’t even see their name in your phonebook, for at least a few months!

6. Let go. The break up happened for a reason

Be realistic about what went wrong. Perhaps, the relationship wasn’t working as well as you wanted to believe and that it is actually for the best that it has ended. When you miss your ex, it’s extremely hard to focus on the “bitter truth”.
So here’s something you don’t want to hear,
It takes two people to make a relationship work and when one person wants out, obviously THAT person isn’t your soul mate.

You need to cut yourself off emotionally and physically (and psychologically!) from the relationship. The main way to do that is to stop talking to your ex. You have to stay in control, and resist the urge to call your ex.

Let us leave behind what we don't need to carry

A good year with dreams fulfilled?
The year, I met the love of my life?
A year I made the worst mistake of my life?
A year where every relationship turned sour?
A year that has gone by too quickly?

I’m sure most of you would agree with the last one at least!

Ok. So what about me? Well, I survived! I broke up with my better half in 2008, and this year was more of a “stabilization” stage for me. If you have gone through a nasty break up, you know how long the sting of a broken heart lasts; it has its way of ruining your future, even if your ex is not in it!

While, the relationship itself has not left any dangerous scars… it has certainly left me second guessing myself, and not letting even the nicest of guys, “in” to my life. I guess I am scared of being burned again. So, this year for me has been a year of fear….. of getting into a new relationship; a fear that things might end in the same fashion, as it did before.. with me heartbroken!

I look at my friends, family and their successful/fulfilling relationship, and wonder why an intelligent, young, funny, and sexy girl like me can’t seem to find that. Sometimes, it gets me teary eyed, it’s depressing!

But I know, that the first step to a successful and fulfilling relationship, is that I need to give a chance to someone. And that seems to be the problem! How can I trust someone with my heart again, when it was shredded into pieces not so long ago by someone I took a chance on; someone I truly cared for?

True, if I consider all the things that might go wrong in a relationship, I might never end up being in one! and that’s what I am trying to deal with in the coming year. I have began to understand (and engrave in my head!) that all misery is the result of either living in the past or worrying about the future. By worrying about the future, I am ruining a perfectly good present.

So, stay tuned to DumpedDays in 2010, where I WILL make an effort to give a special someone a chance… and hopefully, he will handle my heart with care!
Finally, this goes out to anyone who’s relationship has turned sour during the year; to anyone who’s finding it difficult to move on…. Remember..

Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End

One door closes behind; another opens ahead. Let us leave behind what we don’t need to carry. How you spend the rest of your life is up to you.

5 Lessons I've Learned From The Men Who Dumped Me!

Getting dumped Lesson #1- It takes two

After getting dumped, most of the time I felt inferior. Being dumped without my consent was a huge attack on my ego! There were certain guys who made me feel inadequate, unattractive and plain unlovable. If you label yourself with the negative feelings I just experienced, you sink deeper into the inferiority trap.
Although, there were times when I thought, “Something was wrong with me”. There were other times, that I projected all the guilt and blame on my ex. The fact is, if you were dumped, then your partner, were as much a part of the problem, as was you.

Getting dumped Lesson #2- Anger is natural; acting out of action is not!

We have to accept we are human, when someone lets us down or does the dirty, we will feel angry. When it comes to getting dumped we feel everything! I feel angry at him for breaking my heart, for stringing me along, and for betraying our very deep friendship as well as relationship. I feel angry that he lied to save face, rather than telling the truth so that I could move on sooner.… the list goes on.

Getting dumped Lesson #3- End unfulfilling relationships sooner!

Years later, it still boggles my mind when I think of the amount of time I spent in relationships well past their sell-by dates. Fear of loneliness, fear of hurting another’s feelings, naively thinking things would magically get better all kept me with guys who were oh-so-wrong for me.

Life is meant to be happy and joyful and every person deserves to feel that happiness and joy. Sometimes when you stay in a bad relationship for too long you lose that happiness and joy and attach yourself to a feeling that your life doesn’t deserve to have those positive feelings in it, but it does.

Getting dumped Lesson #4- Men need Space!

This one is a bit embarrassing to admit. I guess the more I get attached to someone the more time I like to spend with them. Finding the right balance is definitely challenging and certainly depends on each individual. With each relationship I’ve found out that good communications goes a long way.

Getting dumped Lesson #5 – Some things were not meant to be

Sometimes in spite of everything, it just doesn’t work out. When starting out in a relationship it’s easy and normal to think in terms of the future. He is the love of your life and a total dream. You may project a total perfect future with him as your mate. But, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out. It may be circumstances, or fate, but trying harder may even make it worse. No one likes to lose, but sometimes taking responsibility and accepting a loss is the honorable and mature thing to do. Only then can you truly move on and learn from your losses.

Anyways, every dumping experience moved me closer to where I am today (in a good way!). Sadly, it took me time to realize this. As the saying goes, “If it doesn`t kill you, it will only make you stronger”. It certainly has for me. Looking back, I really thank all those men who set me free!

What about you? Do you have any lessons that you learned from getting dumped? Please leave comment below and let us know.