I also had to listen through well meant (irritating nevertheless!) break up advice, from various individuals. The best advice I got was from my mum who told me repeatedly, “Don’t cry over someone who won’t cry over you”.

Yes, it was painful to hear this harsh truth. But hearing it, day in day out, really did sink in, gradually… It made me wonder…, How can he treat me like this?

Don’t Cry Over Someone Who Won’t Cry Over You

We all have a limited time on this planet earth, and when being dumped, that’s not something that comes to our radar. Why waste even ONE of those moments sitting home and crying about someone who doesn’t DESERVE you?

Many months have gone by since the day I was dumped and each day I feel a little better. But it’s the little things that keep bringing me back, tugging at the strings and reminding me… causing the pain. That’s when I use the affirmation, Don’t cry over someone who won’t cry over you.

It is honestly what’s helping me get over my ex. He doesn’t deserve my time. The people that TRULY love me are the ones who get my time. Think about those people who ARE THERE for you. If it’s meant to be it will be, but in the mean time, live your life with no regrets and spend it with people who matter.

When we find the one that turns our tears of sadness into tears of happiness, we will smile and be happy. Until then, its lessons learned, some pages burned and “Don’t cry over someone who won’t cry over you” ! You and I will get through it, in the end.

Being dumped is the worst feeling ever

Being Dumped : The realization that it ends here

You had a lifetime of activities planned and your loving partner was a major part in this future script. Then to suddenly realize that you have been dumped…, it’s like the carpet you standing on is pulled right-out from underneath. Your life as you knew it doesn’t exist anymore, and it feels like a part of you is missing. Sometimes you feel like you’ll never be happy again.

Being Dumped : The worst part of the end of a relationship can be the lack of one

When you are in a relationship, you tend to give a lot of the “me” activities you enjoy in favor of the “we” activities that you could do as a couple. Gradually, you begin to enjoy and the things you’ll do together becomes a routine. When a relationship ends, sometimes it feels like you need to adjust your routine as well.
For example, my boyfriend (now ex!) and I used to go running every week-end morning. After we broke up, I still wanted to continue my running, but the very activity reminded me of him.
Another thing that made me miserable was coming home to an empty house after work; missing the affectionate words I used to hear all the time… yes, I missed him all over again!

Being Dumped : The Fear

You will find yourself facing two very real fears.
1) The fear that you will never recover from this pain
2) The fear that no one will ever love you again.

Being Dumped : The wounded ago

The lousiest feeling in the world is when you love someone so deeply and intimately that it suddenly ends with rejection by our partner. Finding out that they do not return the love and emotion that you have for them is one of the worst feelings there is.

Have you ever been dumped? What’s the worst feeling you experienced about being dumped?

When the person you are in love with suddenly leaves you, surviving a break up can seem almost impossible at times. This is especially true, on the first day after a break up. You feel your whole identity is shattered, and that you will never recover from the pain. You stare hopelessly, wishing there was something that would numb this pain of getting dumped. Ending a relationship is among the most stressful things a person can undergo.

First day after a break up: Spend time working, with friends, family or alone?

Most advice columns will tell you that you should not spend the first day after a break up alone. If you have work, go into work; if you do not have work, then make plans with a friend or family member.

Here’s what I say….
There are some who really like to keep to themselves. I am one such person. I prefer to be inside the walls of my home, rather than putting on a happy face and spending time with others. The main reason is that sometimes, friends and family try “too much” to cheer me up. I know they all mean well though….

So bottom line is you must choose to spend the day in a way that is most comfortable to you.

While I agree that you shouldn’t be alone the whole day, I feel it’s ok to have some time for yourself.

But keep in mind that if you spend this first day alone, you might be tempted to call your ex, or you may spend the day wallowing in grief. Isolating yourself and looking to escape reality through alcohol or other means is the wrong way to survive.

First day after a break up: Resisting the urge to call him/her

The downside of staying alone on the first day after a break up is that may be tempted to call your ex. This in my book is a BIG NO. Don’t call him/her and expect them to comfort you. Don’t call at all! Chances are you’ll be even more upset at how indifferent s/he seems to the situation.

Remind yourself that s/he dumped you. S/he didn’t want to do anything with you. And No, they probably wouldn’t have changed their mind in 24 hours.

First day after a break up: Silence the inner critic

You know that questioning, nagging little voice inside you.. the one that is never at a loss to point out your flaws, highlight your doubts and cross-examine you on your decisions? That’s the inner critic.

For me this is the most difficult part. I remind myself that the most important tool that I have at my disposal is my mindset. I have found that the more I analyze things the more upset I get.

First day after a break up: Re-direct the toxic & hateful energy

Spending some time in the gym, or go for a run, swim ….. do something physically exerting. It will keep you fit and focused. It will take your mind off of anything (almost!) and in the end, you will look great.

First day after a break up: Do something nice for yourself

Get a haircut, buy something you’ve been eying, indulge in a nice meal or all three. Be careful not to go to places that remind you of your ex. For example, if you go out to a nice meal, don’t go to the site of your first date!

First day after a break up: What you should never forget

Although things may look bleak and miserable in the immediate aftermath of the break up, the hurt and pain do dissipate gradually, eventually. It will…

Can you recall the first day you got dumped? How did you survive the first day after the break up? What helped you the most? Leave a comment below and share with us.

Being Dumped The Truth

Being dumped ……ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down? Feel like dying?

During the first few days after being dumped, I felt everything…. shock, anger, rejection, resentment, self pity, revenge, pride, despair, loneness, sadness, guilt and fear. I found it impossible to get out of bed; my body ached and I had a strong desire to sleep for the next 100 years!

While there have been many break ups in my life, the one that left me totally devastated happened about 2 years ago (2 years, 3 months & 12 days to be exact! Glory details of the break up will follow in another post, stay tuned!) The fact that I am here, writing this.. yes, I did get out of bed at some point.

Being dumped: The Truth

Learning how to get over a break up is never easy

Just because you have been through a similar situation doesn’t necessarily mean it will be less painful, the next time a break up happens. Even if you have been dumped n times, each time it will feel like the first time.

Being dumped: The Half Truth

Depending on how much you love(d) the person, the length of the relationship etc. the pain can make you numb. At the end of the day, you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. No one else can do that for you.

“If it doesn`t kill you, it will only make you stronger.”

Being dumped: Nothing Like The Truth

Endless conversations with close friends, relationship experts, books and advice columns…They all tell you the same darn thing:

It takes time to get over it!

It certainly does, but that’s probably the last thing you want to hear when you are going through a break up; and happiness doesn’t even seem to be in your radar. I know the biggest revenge is to just be happy—and I am! With each day that becomes closer and closer to enough. If you have any shortcuts to speed up the recovery process after being dumped, leave a comment below. I’m all ears!