Smart Women, Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones (If only it was that easy!)
December 15, 2009 by Persha Davis
Filed under Book Reviews
Why is it that I have everything going for me except a satisfying relationship?
This is a question I have often wondered sitting in a dark corner over a stub of my favorite ice cream!
So, you can imagine my child like enthusiasm when I see a book title that clearly speaks to me! Smart Women, Foolish Choices. Did I mention that I am a graduate with a stable career, but when it comes to men, I always find myself on the wrong side of fate. Yap, I think I fir the profile well!
I picked up the book for the store shelf and browsed through the book content. It was convincing and didn’t cost that much so bought the book. While I was leisurely reading it, I felt like someone had followed me around and written about my life. Seriously….
Written by two licensed professional counselors, Dr. Connell Cowan and Dr. Melvyn Kinder, Smart Women, Foolish Choices is a valuable book on how to gage erroneous, futile mechanisms and thought processes that keep women in hopeless mindsets and equally hopeless relationships.
What Smart Women, Foolish Choices offers the reader
- It clearly explains why women seem to be falling for the wrong men and why these wrong men seem to be so attractive and exciting.
- It offers tips on how women can come into their own power and to take assured chances with the opposite sex.
- It shows you how to confront and change your hidden, love-defeating attitudes and stereotypes, the difference between “love” and “longing”.
- Personal assessment exercises, to test what you know and what you have learned after reading the book. These tests will help give you an idea of where you stand and what you need to focus on. These tests include The Patterns of Relationship Quiz, The Love Addiction Test, and the Satisfaction of Needs Test.
The one thing I didn’t agree about the book
In some parts of the book, it seemed as if the authors put the blame on women, suggesting the problem lies in the fact that women do not give men of who don’t appeal to them, a long enough chance. Bull****!!! May be since this book is written by men, it may a bit biased to their own sex!
Overall: Is Smart Women, Foolish Choices for you?
I would recommend this book to
- Those who have been led to falsely believe that all men are commitment-phobic slugs and want validation to seek emotionally mature men that embrace confident, mature women for what they bring to the union.
- Any woman who has found that she has a lot going for her, but can’t figure out why her relationships with men always end in disaster. You will gain is knowledge, insight, and the chance to practice self-reflection.
I must also highlight that you can’t just read a book and expect things to automatically improve. YOU must do the work, and only YOU can make the changes.
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I just finished reading the book. I too agree the book is bit biased toward “real men” being in position to step up to the plate. There are so many variables in partnering with anyone… (EX WIFE/WIVES, CHILDREN, SICKNESS, UNEMPLOYED, DRUG OFFENDERS, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, HOW RAISED, MONEY, RELIGIOUS OR NOT, ETC,ETC.) Most strong women I know are married to men from the lowest end of the spectrum to the apex, as they married men that they thought were diamonds in the rough and most have negative issues in almost every category. My main belief is we not only get married to young, and as a society (that’s really sick right now) somehow must teach people to wait until a few more of the kinks are worked out before using each other as a training ground. We have too many causalties and the wounded, bruised and abused just keep recycling the same people. Society as a whole always seem to ask the women to take the male at face value, but the woman must look like a model, cook like a chef, work a fulltime job and run the household like a corporation while the male plays golf, watch football and drink beer with his friends. I made my contribution through being the dutiful, the caring and the forgiving. My life’s gains and losses has brought me to a self realization that “I would rather have a little of what I need, than a lot of what I don’t”. I can LIVE with that and rest well at night. Now I would like to see pictures of the spouses of the authors and if their total number exceeds 2.