Regret Breaking up? Dealing With Feelings Of Regret After A Break Up
November 24, 2009 by Persha
Filed under Break up Advice
Regret After A Break Up
My “feel good” reply, “I am the queen of looking back and saying, “Gosh, I don’t know if that was the right thing to do.” I have so many regrets that they could fill the Grand Canyon!”
Then there’s always the harsh truth….
You may retrace everything you said,
Everything you did while you were in the relationship.
You may blame yourself for small things that happened, thinking that’s why the break up happened.
Irrespective of the reasons for breaking up a relationship or who initiated the breaking up, sometimes we all get caught up in the web of regret. Honestly, I think it’s natural to have feelings of regret after a break up (to a certain extent!); the challenging part is what you do with that regret!
Why Do You Regret Breaking Up?
Some break ups are thought out and occur over time; others are not. Whether a break up is based on a rash, unanticipated act or something that you have planned to do there are usually substantial and significant reasons for the act of breaking up to occur.
If you are the one that initiated the break up, assess your reasons. Did your ex cheat on you? Did they live a destructive lifestyle? Were they unwilling to work together for the good of the relationship? If so, the chances of your relationship thriving, would have been very slim.
If you cannot come to terms with your reasons, you are likely to always question your decision for breaking up.
Getting Past The Feelings Of Regret After A Break Up
In my life, yes, there have been a few occasions where I regretted my actions that caused the break up. I always told myself that the break up was for the best, but wondered how life would be different now, if I had stayed with another person.
We can all look back on things in our past with rose colored sunglasses. The bottom line is, there was a reason(s) why the two of you broke up.
There was a reason why your relationship did not work….
There was a reason why you made no contact
You need to move forwards with your life and leave the past in the past. The person you split with is not going to change; they are still in time going to be the same person that you broke with because you no longer wanted to be with them.
Over to you… have you experienced feelings of regret after a break up? In your opinion, what’s the best way to deal with it?
Regret is a natural reaction after break up. What is important is to know our mistakes and learn from it. Never brood on “what ifs.” We are fallible, and the only way we can make less mistakes is to realize where we have made it. It will bring no good if we look at the mistake of the other.
We must acknowledge our mistakes, evolve from it and move on.
When a relationship goes bad people often struggle about how to get out of it without hurting the other person. There will always be a little regret but relief as well.