Life After Break Up Building Walls Of Hope Of Love And Relationships

January 3, 2011 by Persha Davis  
Filed under Break up recovery

Life After Break Up

For a long time I was wondering what my first post for this New Year should convey. I didn’t want to write about what most people talk of; goals and resolutions. As we begin another yet another year I am trying to get my life back on track after being dumped.

I feel like a shattered house after a hurricane; everything tangible is lost, debris everywhere and only the memories remain. The rest of the world doesn’t seem to understand the devastation and destruction these things have taken on your heart and, in some cases, your mind. When you feel like this, it’s near impossible to visualize about a nice house, you might one day have again.
That analogy sums up my life after break up. I mentioned in my previous post that I don’t really have much hope finding love again or whether I want to go through that pain all over again.

Building Walls Of Hope – Of Love And Relationships

When you lose hope of love, your world becomes darker. You lose the passion to keep moving forward in life. You give up on your dream which you hard earlier (when you were in a relationship). Gradually, it leads to the death of your soul. That could be you (that is me…!)

So, badly and desperately I need hope, hope of love. So with all my heart, I am trying to re-build the walls of hope and I tell myself,

One day you will see that it has all finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself… “How did I get through all of that?”

I hope that “one day”, is soon!

I hope that “one day”, is soon!

If you are also going through a similar stage in your life, I hope this post gave you some inspiration or motivation, to take one day at a time and build the walls of hope; hope of love and relationship that is yet to come. Over time these pieces of hope, will provide the foundation necessary to scale the wall of lost hope.

dumped breakup reversed

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Comments

9 Responses to “Life After Break Up Building Walls Of Hope Of Love And Relationships”
  1. Biologist says:

    Thanks a lot for your post… It expresses what I felt when I got dumped by my fiancee… I totally understand how this feels… I don’t mean to say that I got over my pain completely though… I loved him from the bottom of my heart… He was deep in my soul, mind and heart. The only thing I used to think about was “how to make him happy”! I agreed to be with him though he had tough circumstances. I did not want anything in this life except “him”! He filled all the gaps in my life… He occupied my time… I accepted his conditions, agreed on his circumstances, respected him, listened to his worries, cared about his problems, tried my best to lessen his pain, did more than I could, gave him affection and love, did what he likes, took care of him, gave him attention, helped him at the expense of my time and comfort, cared about and respected his family… I blindly trusted him and believed all what he used to tell… He made me forget about myself for I was always compromising… I used to absorb his temper and insults, and on top of that I used to call back when he gets angry and ends phone or chat conversations… I was ready to do anything that makes him happy. I used to feel that I own very precious thing in my life… I never made him feel sad… I used to listen, understand and support… I used to give him an excuse for anything he did… I was sooo blind! I don’t think he loved me as much as I did… Maybe he did not love me at all… It feels so tough, so frustrating and depressing… He took me very high and then suddenly he dropped me down! I was hurt, I felt ashamed, frustrated, depressed, to the extent that I wished to lose him because of death rather than the way things happened! I used to dream of our future life and to build hopes and hopes and hopes… I was thinking about everything related to our future life and I planned my career and studies in a way that fits my big responsibilities with him, since I agreed to accept and help him with his kids… Believe me, it’s easier to be said than experienced. It was very hard… I could not believe that after all what I did to him and after all the love and respect I gave, he would dump me some day! I never expected that! It was a big shock! I can tell you that this is the most depressing event that has happened to me so far in my life (I’m 29 years old now)! I feel lonely… I feel hopeless… I cannot imagine any other relationship in my life… I cannot imagine a man other than him… I actually don’t trust that I will love a man as much as I loved my ex! I see nothing in the future! He broke my heart and stepped on it without any sense of guilt or even pity! He is stone-hearted! I am hurt very deep in my soul… His memory kills me! Even if I put away all what reminds me of him, his memories are on my mind! I wish he could read this just to know how much pain and sufferring he caused me!

  2. Rich says:

    Thank you for your break-up post. I was spending lots of time with a beautiful girl that worked in my office. I fell in love with her quickly and told her many times, and I felt that she really cared for me. We would talk or text each other at night for hours. After 3 months, her mood would always change. I felt as if she didn’t want me anymore. After a bad day, she told me to my face “I don’t love you”. It was cold. I then got an email later of her complaining of all the things I did wrong over the weekend and to stay away and to find someone who shares my feelings. I am still in pain. To top it off, the Monday after she broke up, I had to fly out of town for more job training. The night before the 7 am meeting, I stayed up most of the night drinking wine to drown my sorrows. I was asked to take a drug test that morning, by two young girls right in the business. I refused as I knew I . would have failed, and was terminated on the spot. In two days I lost my girl and my job. I am trying, but its so hard to get rid of pain. I feel like I really screwed up and wish I can do that weekend over again. Thanks for listening. Hurting

  3. Rich says:

    Thank you for your break-up post. I was spending lots of time with a beautiful girl that worked in my office. I fell in love with her quickly and told her many times, and I felt that she really cared for me. We would talk or text each other at night for hours. After 3 months, her mood would always change. I felt as if she didn’t want me anymore. After a bad day, she told me to my face “I don’t love you”. It was cold. I then got an email later of her complaining of all the things I did wrong over the weekend and to stay away and to find someone who shares my feelings. I am still in pain. To top it off, the Monday after she broke up, I had to fly out of town for more job training. The night before the 7 am meeting, I stayed up most of the night drinking wine to drown my sorrows. I was asked to take a drug test that morning, by two young girls right in the business office. I refused as I knew I would have failed, and was terminated on the spot. In two days I lost my girl and my job. I am trying, but its so hard to get rid of pain. I feel like I really screwed up and wish I can do that weekend over again. Thanks for listening. Hurting

  4. Bella says:

    Hi everybody. I recently got dumped by my partner of 6 years, we were engaged for 6 months. I was absolutely heart broken and crushed and remember waking up with the same pains in my chest that were there when I went to sleep. I could go on and on at the pain I was in all day every day. However I am writing to say this does get better. It is now 8 weeks and I have made peace with it and genuinely wish him all the best. Things do and will get better. My advice would be to talk and cry it out. Talk and talk and talk with family and friends and cry until u can’t anymore. Also, try to minimise contact with your ex.
    I was in contact with my ex for a week or two after our breakup and I always ended up begging him to reconsider his decision whenever we spoke. Just do what u feel u have to, and you won’t go wrong. Keep strong, and in time u will look back and breathe a sigh of relief that u survived one of the hardest things fate can twist u. I never thought I would but I have. So can u.

  5. green says:

    Hi,

    I’m reading your blog trying to find some consolation and see how other people deal with their pain. 2 month sago my boyfriend of 4,5 years and fiance of 5 months left me. We met at the university when we were 23 and did so many amazing things since- travelled around the world, lived in Asia, moved back to Europe. We used to do everything together and were so happy. He’s been my first real love and first serious relationship. I love him so much, we never argued, have always been really respectful of each other and all our friends used to love us too.
    But one day 2 months ago, he woke up and said he can’t live like “this” anymore. He said he doesn’t love me in a romantic way anymore and doesn’t feel like he can marry me and spend his life with me. I was shocked. He said he loves me and cares for me but more like a brother than a partner. It hurt me so much. Us getting engaged gave me this extra strength that even if we’re going through a rocky patch with our feelings and emotions, we’ll get through this together. But my fiancee said that he cannot change his feeling and that he doesn’t feel the same anymore.
    I’m devastated and, what’s worse I didn’t see it coming. I just woke up on that beautiful day and was so happy and then my world has just been turned upside down. Our friends and families were shocked too. My fiancee moved out a few days later. We have always been very close friends and promised we always will be. So after the break up we’ve been meeting pretty much every day, just talking things through and I was trying to understand his feelings etc.
    I still want to see him but Im starting to realise that I may have some secret hope deep inside me that he may change his mind which I know he won’t. I know we shouldn’t see each other that much but I just can;t imagine my life without him, I feel like I have lost all my bearings and don;t know what I want to do with my life.I know now it’s time to think about me but I really don’t know what I want to do and worse of al, if I will ever be able to trust again.
    I’m scared I will never love anyone like I love my ex-fiancee and that I will never expereince this amazing feeling with anyone else. I want to be happy again one day but now it just seems impossible….

  6. Mick says:

    Hi, my girlfriend whom I Have loved since I was a boy and have been with for 10 months after a six year break has dumped me. She told me I was the love of her life, the only one for her and that she spent the last six years crying herself to sleep pining for me after she last left me. Now without explanation and seemingly over night she wants nothing to do with me. I dont know what I have done and am finding it extremely hard to deal with and get on with my life. I am a shattered mess… I loved this girl with every fibre of my being. In my eyes she was gods perfect creation.

  7. JS says:

    We were together for two years,and i helped him a lot while he was trying to cope with a very painful divorce.We were very very happy together, nothing would move us apart. I felt blessed for every day i spent with him, and there was not one day i was not thankful to God for giving me this love. But after two years he left to another country on an onsite assignment, and we continued our long distance relationship at first. Then he started to become moody and sullen gradually, kept saying his work is killing him and he does not feel any love for anything anymore. And one fine day he called me up to say he has cheated on me with some other gal he met there and slept with her. That he had loved her for a long time and that he wants to marry her. he gave the phone to that gal and she told me directly that she does not want me to disturb them anymore. I am still not out of this shock, trying to pick up the pieces, it is all so unfair on my son, i hope i get up from this, and lead a normal life atleast for my son. Very Good post you have here.Hope and pray you feel better soon too.

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