Impact Of Being Dumped:How Being Dumped Has Changed My Life

Being dumped tends to have various impacts in a person’s future, long after the relationship has ended. This post is my collection of thoughts of how being dumped, (this so called lessons in life experiences!) has affected many aspects of my life.

Side Note: I am taking a break on break up advice today and writing post which is a rambling about me. I thought it might be a good way to end this year!

A few years ago I was in love with someone, who not only broke my heart, but also broke my essence! It took everything in me, even just to have a shred of thought of getting over him. I never thought I’d see the day, but eventually, I did move on after getting dumped. While I am all “patched up” and happy that I have gotten to this stage in my life (where I don’t at all think about him in any way!), the experience I had has left several scars in me. Sadly, I think it affects my current moment, as well as the future!

Wasted precious years of my life!

This is one of the things I regret most about my life. I just turned 30 this month, and looking back I feel I wasted years of my life wallowing on someone who did not want me! At the time, I was naive to realize that I shouldn’t cry over someone who won’t cry over me. But then, better late than never huh?

Lack of Self Confidence

For a long time after being dumped, I kept asking myself, “why wasn’t I good enough for him”, why couldn’t I make him happy etc. Later, I realized that I should not tie up my sense of self with another person’s estimate of my physical attractiveness. But this is easier said than done. Even now, when I find myself faced with rejection by a casual date, I can’t help but wonder…

Issues trusting people

My ex usually said one thing, meant another and did something entirely different. I was blinded by love to see what was happening. So I still have issues trusting people; knowing whether “this is actually what it is”. Does that make sense?

Lost hope of “happily ever after”

I was a girl that was waiting for Prince Charming to come in and sweep me off my feet. I thought it happened and I was holding on to that dream without letting go. Being dumped taught me to think more rationally. I remind myself that when it comes to matters of the heart, not to rely on the idea that happily ever after exists. I don’t know whether this is good or bad, or whether I am being overly negative due to the things that I have gone through.

Looking for someone who is very “similar” to my ex

Yes, I am single. But it’s not because I don’t want to be in a relationship. I tried to throw myself back out into the dating pool. However, I find myself comparing the men I would date to my ex. There were some qualities in my ex that I liked; it is probably for those reasons that I fell in love with him in the first place! Having had “that” once, I don’t want to “settle for less”.

Have become “feelingless”

I get the feeling that I am unconsciously avoiding being in a relationship, mainly because I felt like SH** when he dumped me , I don’t want to go through that again. I know I am being pessimistic here and not every relationship is doomed. But nevertheless, I tend to not want to care for someone as much as I did before. Does that make me “feelingless” ?

At the moment, I don’t know how I plan to sort these issues out. I will do some reading on these topics, try to apply them to my life, wise-up and promise to post what I learn in Dumped Days. Stay tuned!

Related Posts

• 38 Ways To Keep Busy After A Break Up
• Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End
• Resist The Urge To Call Your Ex : 6 Effective Ways To Help You Stay Off The Phone!
• It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken (Book Review)
• Getting Dumped: 6 Break Up Lines I am Tired Of Hearing

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