How To Move On After Getting Dumped
Moving on after getting dumped can feel impossible, especially if you didn’t really want the relationship to end. It’s one of those things that most people simply aren’t prepared to handle much less cope with.
My Story: Moving on After getting dumped
Every day I am consumed with thoughts of deception, hurt and loss of hope. I read stories and self-help guides on how to move on after getting dumped and it amazes me how these people can keep writing this stuff!
I am living proof that for the past year I have been playing this roller coaster ride in hopes that I could reconcile things with him and get back together. There were many times I just wanted to run over to his place shake him up until he realized that I am the one for him. Of course it never happened; I didn’t have the energy nor the guts to do it.
I know one thing for sure. I should have moved on a long time ago. Believe me, I have gone through break ups before and I never had a problem of moving on before. But this fella really shook me up. For some reason I have this overwhelming feeling of holding on, keeping hope.
Anyway, after some time I did finally move on after getting dumped. Here are few things that I think will help you.
As long as you keep hoping that there is a tiny ounce of a chance that you two are going to get back together, you will not be able to move on. So don’t give yourself unrealistic fantasies that you might get back together one day. Tell yourself that this was a chapter in your life that has now closed and you are now ready to grow and enter another chapter of your life.
Let yourself be sad
Everyone around want you to cheers up and move on. While their intentions are noble the turnaround will not happen in instantaneously. None of us likes to be upset or depressed. However, when a relationship ends, irrespective of who ended it, you lose a part of your life. If you were dating for a short time, the sad period probably won’t last that long. But for a long-term relationship, you might be sad for a really long time.
Letting yourself feel the sadness will let you deal with the emotions and the break up pain. Remember that getting over being dumped is more than just moving on. If you can deal with the bad feelings, you’ll be better to able to experience the good feelings that come when you’ve moved on.
Write about your feelings
Are you annoyed, angry, furious with what your ex did? Don’t let all those emotions eat you up. Write about it. For some reason writing about things collects your thoughts, and believe me, you will feel much better after you vent out what’s inside you.
Keep yourself busy
After a break up you suddenly feel as if you have so much more time on your hands. Learn something new ; there is probably something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time.
Here are 38 Ways To Keep Busy After A Break Up, in case you run out of ideas!
Note that keeping yourself busy is not a solution. However, it’s something that can help you feel better.
Sometimes getting dumped can make you feel as if you are a failure at love. You may also feel like the chances of experiencing a “their happily ever after future” has just been obliterated. The Why’s, What if’s , and If only I’d… statements take over, driving even the sanest person to the brink of insanity.
Learn from It.
Each experience helps you to develop new layers and fill up fresh wells of life experiences to draw from. So use it your advantage! Look over your relationship, what have you learned? What was good about it and what went wrong. Use these notes as a tool to improve your relationships skills.
Get rid of things that revive memories of the past, and while you’re at it, purge anything else that brings you pain. Delete old emails, toss old mementos, or gifts.
You might be interesting in reading a previous post on How To Forget Your Ex When EVERYTHING Around Reminds You Of Your Ex or Resist The Urge To Call Your Ex : 6 Effective Ways To Help You Stay Off The Phone!
Focus on the future.
What do you want to do next? Would you like to get into another relationship soon? Do you just want to wait and see what happens?
Perhaps you have been neglecting other areas of your life. Now is the time to put your focus back on your career, your fitness etc. Make a list of goals, and positive changes you would like to make in your life and start working towards them.