Got Dumped? Wise Words To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself After Being Dumped
December 18, 2009 by Persha Davis
Filed under Break up Advice
Got Dumped? Stop Feeling Sorry
A few months ago, I got dumped by my then boyfriend. Even though I had been dumped about twice before (by different guys!), this break up hurt the most because I was head over heels in love and thought “he was the one”.
Often, no one likes to be dumped. It’s the ultimate feeling of being unwanted, unloved, and just not good enough; you feel as though someone has just sucker punched you in the stomach. Believe me, being dumped IS the worst feeling ever!
Anyway, the common advice I received at the time was, “stop feeling sorry for yourself”. Hearing this really irritated me. I mean, you can’t just wave a wand make those feelings disappear! None of the material I read contained specific details or steps on HOW to stop feeling sorry. Eventually, I did stop feeling sorry and started forcing myself to move on. But I learned it the hard way via experience and I wish this sort of break up advice was laid out somewhere. So, I took to initiative to write it down. It may have been too late for me, but there is still hope for you.
Stop digging your own grave
The truth is that all too often we make our life harder than it needs to be. Yes, your world just turned upside down and you feel incapable of going on.. but… If you keep thinking about how badly you’ve been hurt, you will continue to hurt.
Don’t participate in loser talk
Your ex didn’t leave you because there’s something wrong with you; there’s something else your ex is looking for. You just weren’t a compatible match so one of you had to move on and obviously it was your partner that decided to go first. So, stop all the thousands of “if’s,” “possibly’s” and “maybes”.
Remember, you are still the same you!
Sometimes it gets to the point where you start questioning all the things that make you so great. You ARE a great person, and anyone that doesn’t want to be with you is losing out! You have to start thinking positive if you want better things to start happening.
Keep yourself busy
When you are getting over someone, it helps to keep yourself busy. I always find exercise helps; a good swim or run takes my mind off my break up. I also tend to call certain people up for long, detailed chats. A glass of wine in the evening never goes down too badly either! (Here are 38 Ways To Keep Busy After A Break Up in case you are at a loss of finding something to do)
Do something! Stop feeling sorry for yourself
Life is journey.. one lesson after another. That’s where we grow, learn, adapt, get strong and become more effective. Sometimes we need to step outside of our reality (problems, challenges, environment) to understand and appreciate what we really have and how tough our life isn’t.
Yes, life might have thrown you a curve ball, but the only way to fix it is to get up and get busy making it better. What can you do to stop feeling sorry for yourself? What can you do to dig yourself out of this rut?
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