Getting Dumped : Lessons Learned From The Men Who Dumped Me

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To be perfectly honest, I’ve been dumped more than a few times. Each time it hurt and I was miserable, to say the least!

Falling in love with someone is one of the most exciting feelings; You feel like you have wings and flying high in the sky, the wind romantically lifting you through the air. When it all ends, you feel as if you’ve been dropped like a rock in mid air. You try to grab a hold of something (anything!), but your body keeps falling at great speeds, and then shatters on the earth below.
It’s hard to eat; it’s hard to sleep; and it’s even harder to think clearly. Getting dumped isn’t just upsetting; sometimes it can literally turn your life upside down.

Looking back though, I must admit that I learned quite a bit. Here are a few of the lessons I learned the hard way.

Getting dumped Lesson #1- It takes two

After getting dumped, most of the time I felt inferior. Being dumped without my consent was a huge attack on my ego! There were certain guys who made me feel inadequate, unattractive and plain unlovable. If you label yourself with the negative feelings I just experienced, you sink deeper into the inferiority trap.
Although, there were times when I thought, “Something was wrong with me”. There were other times, that I projected all the guilt and blame on my ex. The fact is, if you were dumped, then your partner, were as much a part of the problem, as was you.

Getting dumped Lesson #2- Anger is natural; acting out of action is not!

We have to accept we are human, when someone lets us down or does the dirty, we will feel angry. When it comes to getting dumped we feel everything! I feel angry at him for breaking my heart, for stringing me along, and for betraying our very deep friendship as well as relationship. I feel angry that he lied to save face, rather than telling the truth so that I could move on sooner.… the list goes on.

Getting dumped Lesson #3- End unfulfilling relationships sooner!

Years later, it still boggles my mind when I think of the amount of time I spent in relationships well past their sell-by dates. Fear of loneliness, fear of hurting another’s feelings, naively thinking things would magically get better all kept me with guys who were oh-so-wrong for me.

Life is meant to be happy and joyful and every person deserves to feel that happiness and joy. Sometimes when you stay in a bad relationship for too long you lose that happiness and joy and attach yourself to a feeling that your life doesn’t deserve to have those positive feelings in it, but it does.

Getting dumped Lesson #4- Men need Space!

This one is a bit embarrassing to admit. I guess the more I get attached to someone the more time I like to spend with them. Finding the right balance is definitely challenging and certainly depends on each individual. With each relationship I’ve found out that good communications goes a long way.

Getting dumped Lesson #5 – Some things were not meant to be

Sometimes in spite of everything, it just doesn’t work out. When starting out in a relationship it’s easy and normal to think in terms of the future. He is the love of your life and a total dream. You may project a total perfect future with him as your mate. But, for whatever reason, it doesn’t work out. It may be circumstances, or fate, but trying harder may even make it worse. No one likes to lose, but sometimes taking responsibility and accepting a loss is the honorable and mature thing to do. Only then can you truly move on and learn from your losses.

Anyways, every dumping experience moved me closer to where I am today (in a good way!). Sadly, it took me time to realize this. As the saying goes, “If it doesn`t kill you, it will only make you stronger”. It certainly has for me. Looking back, I really thank all those men who set me free!

What about you? Do you have any lessons that you learned from getting dumped? Please leave comment below and let us know.