• “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
  — Lady Gaga
• “Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.”
  — Lady Gaga
• “I remember watching the mascara tears flood the ivories and I thought, “It’s OK to be sad.” I’ve been trained to love my darkness.”
  — Lady Gaga
• “Do you know the feeling,when your heart is so hurt,that you could feel the blood dripping?”
  — Lady Gaga
• “I had a boyfriend who told me I’d never succeed, never be nominated for a Grammy, never have a hit song, and that he hoped I’d fail. I said to him, ‘Someday, when we’re not together, you won’t be able to order a cup of coffee at the fucking deli without hearing or seeing me.”
  — Lady Gaga

Well, you might be heart broken and feel really down. However, you can still enjoy the holiday season this year. Don’t let the break up ruin your Christmas and new year.
Last year I wrote the post Christmas Break up: How To Survive Being Dumped During The Christmas Holidays, but thought of adding a bit more to it.

1. Focus your energy on family and friends.
Don’t stay at home thinking about your ex all day. Find out what your friends are doing for Christmas and try to help out in any way you can. Or perhaps you are going to visit your family this year, get involved with various activities so that you can get your mind off your ex.

2. Be will to say “I don’t want to talk about it”
There will be many people who’d want the latest scoop about the break up during family gathers, friends parties etc. People love to gossip especially during the holidays where many people come together. If you are not comfortable talking about it just be straight and say it. Say that you are going through a difficult time and hope the other person can respect that.

3. Give yourself a gift
While you buy many gifts for others during the holiday, want is it that you want? Anything nice and affordable that you’ve been meaning to get for a while? Or many you visit a spar, massage etc just pamper yourself.

4. “It’s ok to go alone”
When your single all at once it can be difficult to walk into parties and various dinners alone. You are so used to going with your ex. Get a friend to tag along or take a family member if you can. Gradually you will get used to this but it will take some time.

While these tips were specific to getting over a break up during the holidays, I’ve written more articles which you might find useful.

• How To Forget Your Ex When EVERYTHING Around Reminds You Of Your Ex
• Ways To Cope With Loneliness After Being Dumped
• Breakup Pain: What To Do When You Can’t Stop Feeling Sad And Hurt

Being dumped, you are at the receiving end. Often you don’t want to end the relationship. You want every ounce of the relationship to work, and letting go is far from the mind. I was thinking all along what can I do to change? What can I do to make him stay. Looking back at it now, it all seems pathetic and desperate.

You can’t control the persons thoughts or feelings

Sometimes, you feel they are unjustly ending the relationship or maybe you don’t see any logic in their choice. The truth of the matter is they possess the freewill to do with their life, as they wish. As much as you may want to, you can’t control another person’s thoughts or feelings.
It is sometimes enormously painful to accept this fact, especially if you feel you have given so much of yourself to this other person.

After being dumped, Let go – let them walk away

When they choose to walk away from you, you may feel a very strong craving to stop the progress of their actions. When feeling that you deserve something from this person, it can cause you to behave in very improper way. This behavior is detrimental to your emotional well being.

Letting go doesn’t always seem like the right thing to do at the time. But sometimes, you have to let the other person find their own path; even if it means you have to imagine a life without you, in it.
It just means that their part in your life story is over. Deep down I think you will know that is.

So don’t try to talk him or her into staying with you or convince them to love you etc If they can’t treat you right, love you back and see your worth, surely you deserve better.
Trying to hang on to someone who doesn’t want to be with you is only going to prolong your breakup pain.

After being dumped, letting go doesn’t happen overnight

Letting go your past the your ex, isn’t something you do once and it disappears! Letting go is a journey with steps forward and steps backward; You will have your share of good days and bad days.

I have been through many gut twisting, heart wrenching breakups that really pinned me down to the ground and ripped me into pieces. So believe, me when I say letting go is a process that takes time.

Letting go and moving on is difficult; I’ve shared my experience previously. Check it out if you’ve missed those posts.

• Life After Break Up Building Walls Of Hope Of Love And Relationships
• How To Move On After Getting Dumped

I am listing out all possibilities to cut off contact with your ex. It’s up to you to decided what is best suited for your situation.
Some of these may sound a bit too extreme for you. It all depends on the sort of breakup you had. If the breakup was a mutual understanding, and you have no problems withing in contact with your ex, then I doubt that all this is needed.

Cut Off Technology Links to Stay Away From Your Ex

Avoid Common Places to Stay Away From Your Ex

Extract Your Ex To Cut Off Contact

Reclaim your space as your space

Keep Yourself Busy To Stay Away From Your Ex

What has worked for you to cut off contact with your ex after the break up?

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #1- On Accepting The Break Up

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #2- Don’t Cry Over Someone Who Won’t Cry Over You

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #3- Getting Dumped : Lessons Learned From The Men Who Dumped Me

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #4- Not Forgiving Your Ex Imprisons You (and Eventually Ruins Your Life!)

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #5- Revenge After Break Up: 5 Things To Think About Before Getting Even With Your Ex

ok. this last one is not really a break up quote, but added this since I thought it was funny!

Unbiased review of Men Made Easy

Please note that this is not a “you should buy this book” kind of review. What is presented here is my perspective about the book in general, so it includes the good, bad and the ugly!

Men Made Easy: What is it all about?

Simply put it is a “easy to read” guide designed to show women how to transform their relationship and/or marriage life by understanding how men think, feel and react. The book is written by Kara Oh, a dating/relationship coach, seminar leader and inspirational speaker, TV/radio personality.

The strategies described in this book are based on several years of studies and interviews with hundreds of men and women.

Click here to read more about each chapter of the book

Once you make the purchase you get access to the downloadable eBook Men Made Easy, and the following as well.

• Audio recording if you really don’t have the time to read through it all or you like to get the information in on the go or who
• 20-minute Coaching Session by the author to help you with whatever issues or questions you have.
• Private Support Group where you can ask the author for advice any time of the day or night and you can get support and insight from the other women in the support group.
• Workbook to help you get more out of this program.

Men Made Easy ebook: The Good and Bad

Men Made Easy ebook is more than your standard issue self-help book for all the broken-hearted women still searching for their perfect Romeo!
It’s a book that’s created to bring out the best in women by helping them to understand and get under the skin of the men they love.

It was starting to grow on me, even with the odd story like writing style that made the book feel like it was a bit watered down to make it an easier read.

As I mentioned above, apart from the best seller guide which is around 180 pages long, it also comes with some useful additions which includes a great workbook, private support group, personal coaching session with Kara Oh and audio version of the book. Personally, it was good value for money. Speaking of money I only bought this because of the 60 day full money back guarantee in the first place!

I’m was a bit bothered by her last comments about feminism. Do equal rights have to effect that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you’re with someone you care about? Really? Is there anyone else who read this book pretty at odds about this?

But overall, the points the author make are really good and there is a lot of value in reading it if you are feeling a bit disillusioned with your relationship and wondering why you aren’t actually being nice to each other anymore!
I also felt that the book would have had more impact had the author used real life case studies instead of the imaginary characters. But its worth grinning and bearing the writing style because I think most of her suggestions actually work, or at least give you something to think about.

Men Made Easy ebook: Is this book for you

If you are a man, this book is not for you!
For men, there is one section devoted to you, and that’s it. I only recommend buying it, if you are a woman. If you are a man, perhaps you can gift it to your sister, wife, friend etc

More suited for women in a relationship than single women
Most of this book referred to women in relationships couples and did not really seem to delve into single people like me!
While the information was useful to know, I wish it had a tad bit more for someone who is uncommitted and out in the dating scene at the moment!
So, if you are single, I think Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave, would be more appropriate. (read my review on Women Men Adore and Never Want to Leave)

All in all, keep in mind that Men Made Easy is not a “magic pill” and the strategies outlined inside the guide will only work for you with some amount of effort on your part. So you should commit yourself to doing the exercises written in the ebook and try to properly implement them. Only then, you will see the result you want!

I hope that this Men Made Easy ebook review was helpful for you.

Visit the official Men Made Easy ebook web site to get more information.

1. You Feel Unsure

When you feel unsure on your decision to get back together with your ex, or if you have a lot of doubt in your mind, then it is better if you do not push through with it for the mean time. Making a decision to get back together with an ex requires a lot of commitment and care, especially since you are dealing with your ex’s feelings aside from your own, which is why you need to make sure that your heart is really in it. Don’t get back together with your ex if you don’t really want to do it as this will only result in another break up.

2. Many Unresolved Issues

If you and your ex still has a lot of unresolved issues, then it is probably better if you opt to fix those issues first before making any plans of getting back together as this will help iron out some things in your relationship that might have caused it to fail in the first place. The main issue that you need to try and fix is the main cause for your break up. Once you get that out of the way, you can actually begin to try and rekindle the spark in your relationship already, as well as try to fix other issues that might have contributed to your conflict.

3. Your Ex Doesn’t Want To

If your ex doesn’t want to get back together with you, then you shouldn’t force him to. That should be a clear sign for you to start moving on from your relationship and probably start a new relationship with somebody else. Just remember to give yourself time to move on from your previous relationship first before starting a new one, just to make sure that you are already over it and avoid any problems with your new one.

4. Your Ex Has Moved On

Once you see your ex in a new relationship with somebody else that is an indication that your ex is probably moving on from your relationship already. In this period in your break up, it isn’t advisable to try and get back together with him because you might actually cause some problems with your ex’s new relationship. What’s more is you might ruin your ex’s chance to get over your break up.

Allow your ex to be happy with someone else since you already had your chance to make things work, and it didn’t necessarily end well. Also, you had opportunities to get back together with him, but now that your ex is with someone else, then that opportunity has already passed you.

“I felt as if she ripped my heart out, stepped on it until it was a bloody pulp and then threw it in a fire and took a large steaming shit on the ashes!”

Another person had a different perspective on being dumped
“I got dumped, such is life”

So, If you also feel as if your heart was ripped out, then the days that follow after you got dumped, can be filled with hurt, anger and many more emotions that make you really miserable.

But despite these feeling towards your ex, sometimes they return, and ask for a second chance.
And surprisingly, the very same people, who had such hatred towards their ex, get back together!

When this happens, you are left to wonder…
Why would someone who dumped you, want you back? Why would they change their mind as time goes by?

You could have a very bad breakup that results in your ex out of a home, lots of financial baggage etc There aren’t that many people who divorce, that get married or go back to that same person again is there? (well if you are Liz Taylor, maybe!)

Here are a few reasons I can think of as to why dumpers return. (Feel free to add your take in the comments)

1. Overacting

The person who dumped you acted irrationally and possibly too hastily.
They are too proud to admit that they over reacted so they hang on and hang on to their decision until finally they realize that the decision was not the best for them after all.

2. Misconception of grass is greener on the other side.

Perhaps you got dumped for someone else and the person they left you for did not live up to their expectations. Or just may be that they got dumped so then go running back to the person they dumped with tail between their legs!

3. Loneliness

Some people breakup just because the relationship was too difficult or because they weren’t happy. Also may be because they were not in love. After having a few months to have gone by, they might realize that no other person is as good/appreciative as you were!. So they get lonely and want you back.

To me this is sort of the worst of its kind. These are the types of people that can just string you along until someone they perceive to be better turns up. However, for the time being, they get the perks and comfort of being in a relationship instead of being alone.

4. Regret

Some people don’t realize what they have lost, until it is gone.

You got dumped because just may be commitment was too difficult for them.
Later they regret since you are no longer in their life and feel depressed. They wake up and think “why do I feel awful without them?, oh my god!! I must love her/him. I want get back with …”
This happens quite a lot in the movies! Sadly, very rarely in real life!

Have your say, leave a comment.

Warning: Listening to this song at your own risk! All those bottled up feelings might come rushing through!

Here are some lyrics from the song, I can relate to.

Lately I’ve been trying
To fill up my days since you’re gone

In this day and age most people complain about not having sufficient time to do all the things they have to do. But for me, the days that followed the break up, felt really lonely. I was so used to having my partner around for so long. So I felt as if I had nothing to do, now that he was not there.

My mind won’t clear
I’m out of tears
My heart’s got no room left inside

Don’t cry for someone who won’t cry for you.. yes I did say that once, when you hear songs like this, my mind doesn’t seem to listen!

Can’t hide it, it’s true
I still burn for you
Your memory just won’t let me go

Often, just after the breakup (sometimes even way afterwords.. !) the main question asked by is, “Are you ok?”. I think not many people want to hear, “No, I am not ok.”. I tend to reply saying that I am not ok; tell everyone that I am not at all bothered by the fact that my ex is dating someone else, or that mention that I don’t miss your ex anymore etc But underneath all that “fakeness” I still know how difficult it can be to forget my ex.

How many dreams will end
How long can I pretend
How many times will love pass me by
Until I find you again

The question we all struggle with… Getting on with life after the breakup. Believe me I have tried; Gone on numerous dates with the hope that I (God willing!) will find someone and be happy. These days I worry about this more because I can’t seem to find anyone worthwhile to risk it all again.

I think this book was laying around for about another one month, before I finally decided to browse through it. While I was skimping through the chapters, I realized that this is one of those books that will actually help me towards moving on, getting past my breakup.

A quick browse through of Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You

Chapter 1, Road Map to Healing: How This Book Will Change Your Life
A quick peak into how the book is structured and what is in store to come.

Chapter 2, The Rules of Disengagement
Going “No Contact” with Your Ex is devoted to the hardest thing; not being in touch with your ex. It details why you need to separate emotionally, physically, and psychologically from the relationship, and the biggest mistake that will hinder that separation is continued contact.

Chapter 3, Grief as the Healing Feeling
Explains the process of grief and how to cope with each phase as well as how to know that you are nearing the end of the process.

Chapter 4, Taking care of yourself
Highlights how to immediately begin incorporating being good to yourself into your daily life. Additionally you will learn how to journal, write affirmations and gratitude lists, retrain your brain away from obsessive like, getting revenge from your ex!

Chapter 5, Seven Rules for Making Things Easier for Your Children
Is a practical chapter and is designed for newly single parents. Raising children is exhausting under optimal circumstances, but after a breakup it can be extremely challenging. This chapter gives straight advice on how to cope with the children and help them cope with the breakup.

Chapter 6, Bringing the Big Picture into Focus: The Relationship and Life Inventories
A look back to examine not only your last relationship but all of the relationships in your life. The most important piece of work you will do to get beyond this breakup is taking the Relationship Inventory.

Chapter 7,Where Do You End and I Begin? Developing Limits and Boundaries
Is a look at how to take care of yourself in relationships. Developing boundaries is probably the most productive thing you can do to ensure a healthy and happy life because boundaries are the key to all loving relationships.

Chapter 8, Moving On: The Path to Real Love
Will help you decide whether you want another relationship and, if so, what you want from that relationship. I actually discovered how to find the joy (yes, joy!) in being single so that I am never so dependent on a relationship that I settle for less than I deserve.

Chapter 9, “Letters from Readers and Frequently Asked Questions.”
The Q & A chapter has actual e-mails and messages from readers of the “Getting Past Your Past” blog. Here you will find common concerns, questions, thoughts, and feelings similar to your own and learn how best to deal with them.

My View: Is Getting Past Your Breakup worth reading?

• Honestly, I will never forget this book or the lessons I’ve learned because of it. I will buy it as a gift for anyone of my friends/family who will encounter future breakups, because it is useful.
• If at all there was something I didn’t like in this book, it’s the affirmations and writing gratitude lists. This seemed pretty obvious to me, but another reader may feel differently.
• If you do read it, do the homework(/exercises) – it makes the process so much easier to let go of the bad & look forward to your future.