1. You Feel Unsure

When you feel unsure on your decision to get back together with your ex, or if you have a lot of doubt in your mind, then it is better if you do not push through with it for the mean time. Making a decision to get back together with an ex requires a lot of commitment and care, especially since you are dealing with your ex’s feelings aside from your own, which is why you need to make sure that your heart is really in it. Don’t get back together with your ex if you don’t really want to do it as this will only result in another break up.

2. Many Unresolved Issues

If you and your ex still has a lot of unresolved issues, then it is probably better if you opt to fix those issues first before making any plans of getting back together as this will help iron out some things in your relationship that might have caused it to fail in the first place. The main issue that you need to try and fix is the main cause for your break up. Once you get that out of the way, you can actually begin to try and rekindle the spark in your relationship already, as well as try to fix other issues that might have contributed to your conflict.

3. Your Ex Doesn’t Want To

If your ex doesn’t want to get back together with you, then you shouldn’t force him to. That should be a clear sign for you to start moving on from your relationship and probably start a new relationship with somebody else. Just remember to give yourself time to move on from your previous relationship first before starting a new one, just to make sure that you are already over it and avoid any problems with your new one.

4. Your Ex Has Moved On

Once you see your ex in a new relationship with somebody else that is an indication that your ex is probably moving on from your relationship already. In this period in your break up, it isn’t advisable to try and get back together with him because you might actually cause some problems with your ex’s new relationship. What’s more is you might ruin your ex’s chance to get over your break up.

Allow your ex to be happy with someone else since you already had your chance to make things work, and it didn’t necessarily end well. Also, you had opportunities to get back together with him, but now that your ex is with someone else, then that opportunity has already passed you.

“I felt as if she ripped my heart out, stepped on it until it was a bloody pulp and then threw it in a fire and took a large steaming shit on the ashes!”

Another person had a different perspective on being dumped
“I got dumped, such is life”

So, If you also feel as if your heart was ripped out, then the days that follow after you got dumped, can be filled with hurt, anger and many more emotions that make you really miserable.

But despite these feeling towards your ex, sometimes they return, and ask for a second chance.
And surprisingly, the very same people, who had such hatred towards their ex, get back together!

When this happens, you are left to wonder…
Why would someone who dumped you, want you back? Why would they change their mind as time goes by?

You could have a very bad breakup that results in your ex out of a home, lots of financial baggage etc There aren’t that many people who divorce, that get married or go back to that same person again is there? (well if you are Liz Taylor, maybe!)

Here are a few reasons I can think of as to why dumpers return. (Feel free to add your take in the comments)

1. Overacting

The person who dumped you acted irrationally and possibly too hastily.
They are too proud to admit that they over reacted so they hang on and hang on to their decision until finally they realize that the decision was not the best for them after all.

2. Misconception of grass is greener on the other side.

Perhaps you got dumped for someone else and the person they left you for did not live up to their expectations. Or just may be that they got dumped so then go running back to the person they dumped with tail between their legs!

3. Loneliness

Some people breakup just because the relationship was too difficult or because they weren’t happy. Also may be because they were not in love. After having a few months to have gone by, they might realize that no other person is as good/appreciative as you were!. So they get lonely and want you back.

To me this is sort of the worst of its kind. These are the types of people that can just string you along until someone they perceive to be better turns up. However, for the time being, they get the perks and comfort of being in a relationship instead of being alone.

4. Regret

Some people don’t realize what they have lost, until it is gone.

You got dumped because just may be commitment was too difficult for them.
Later they regret since you are no longer in their life and feel depressed. They wake up and think “why do I feel awful without them?, oh my god!! I must love her/him. I want get back with …”
This happens quite a lot in the movies! Sadly, very rarely in real life!

Have your say, leave a comment.

In response to my previous post on, When Your Ex Sends A Text Message After The Breakup: What To Do, I received an email last week from a reader. She detailed out her road of agony and asked me, “should I consider getting back with my ex after being dumped?”. I replied her with my two cents, but specifically mentioned that I am not a licensed therapist. All what I can give advice on are based on my painful personal experiences and the ones that I’ve seen my friends go through.

Anyway, it brought back some memories of my own breakup and how I was running around trying to do everything possible to get back with my ex.

I am bit embarrassed to admit but there was once a time when I also considered getting back with my ex after being dumped. To me, it seemed as if getting back together was the only possible solution. Being blinded by all the emotions I was going through, I didn’t see anything wrong with it. In fact the immediate days that followed the breakup, I could think of nothing else but wonder, “What can I do to get back with him and be the way we were”.

I didn’t have any respect for myself and did everything I could do, that I shouldn’t have done! It took a while to realize that I need to move on, and there is no point in pining after someone that does not want anything to do with me (Harsh truth!).

Ebooks like Get Your ex-boyfriend back or Pull Your Ex Back make it sound ridiculously easy. I don’t understand why these ebooks record such a high sales rate. Perhaps it’s because of the 60 day money back guarantee or maybe there are loads of people out there, who actually consider getting back with their ex and they want a proven guide.

While there is no YES/NO clear cut answer to “Should I consider getting back with my ex after being dumped?” I think the two most important questions you need to ask YOURSELF instead is

1. Could You Give Someone Who Broke Your Heart A Second Chance ?
(I wrote about it previously so, not going to repeat myself here again)

2. What’s the real reason you want to get back with your ex?

Is it because you are lonely?
Is it because you hate the thought of starting all over again and trying to find someone else?
Is it because you are so used to the lifestyle you two had together?

Believe me, these are all the wrong reasons to get back with your ex.

On the other hand, if you were being dumped for a misunderstanding or perhaps, you did something wrong that really annoyed your ex etc.. If so, you should try to see whether it’s possible to reconcile with your ex.

“Really?”, me thinks.. My mind has already raced; I am picturing myself, back in the arms of my loving boyfriend!

So did it deliver on what it promises? Here’s my unbiased, honest review of Breakup Reversed program.

Breakup Reversed- What the program contains

1. Breakup Reversed Ebook
2. The Full Audio Version of the course
3. Instant Heartache Relief (BONUS)
4. Breakup Reversed Quick Reference Guide (BONUS)
5. Secrets to Saving Any Marriage (BONUS)
6. How To Keep The Fire Burning After You Make Up (BONUS)
7. FREE Counselling with Robert Parsons for 3 Months (BONUS)
You get Robert Parsons personal email address which makes it possible have one on one sessions with him, to sort out your specific issues. This way you can get to the root of the problems you are having. (For me, this was the most useful)

Guarantee / Terms: 60 Day money back guarantee if not satisfied with the product.

Breakup Reversed – What’s it all about

The book starts off by showing you how to get a relief from the emotional pain of a breakup. It drills into your brain that only after you start thinking straight, can you get any progress in your relationship!

It identifies several mistakes most people make during a break up, details why each and every one is destined to fail. It highlights that the usual methods of getting your ex back normally do more harm and drive your partner away.

It will help you learn how to trigger positive emotions in your partner which can make them look at you differently. I thought this section was important because sometimes we tend to take for granted that we actually know what makes others tick. However the truth is that we rarely know each other as well as we think we do.

Another useful thing for me was learning how to interact with your ex, talk to them and how to act the first them you see them after a break up!
Finally, it focuses on a plan to get your ex back, putting aside your emotional trauma.

As with any product, Breakup Reversed is aimed at getting you back into a relationship with your ex, but YOU need to do the work. Ultimately, all the suggestions in the program mean nothing if you simply learn from the information and don’t take action or just ignore it.

What would you do, if one of these people asked you for a second chance? Showed remorse for what happened previously; pleaded with you, and told you how much he/she has changed… for the better? How hard would it be to give that second chance?

“Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me”

Famous sayings such as the above don’t make it any easier!

This person hurt you once; you felt let down.

• How can you be sure that it won’t happen again?

• Has this person really changed?

• Could you see yourself ever trusting him/her?

• Caring about him/her freely again after what he/she did?

• Would you want to risk it ALL again?

Have you ever been in caught up in such torment?

On giving someone who broke your heart a second chance: My two cents

People fight; get confused about what they want. They breakup and get back together; It happens. What matters is should it happen to you.

You have to be able to realize what went wrong the last time and not let emotions cloud your judgment.

Make sure that the other person is sincere in efforts to get back together and for wanting a second chance. If this is not the case, you could find the one who cares enough to not hurt you that much. Just be honest with yourself about if he/she is worth the risk again. If not, you’re setting yourself up for another breakup.

Getting Back With Your Ex

“Please don’t do this to me”

Ending a relationship that was once something wonderful between the two of you, is emotional destabilizing. It’s bad enough that you had to pile up the courage and initiate the break up. Hearing these words now, may spark that guilty feeling again.

“I can’t live without you”

I am a bit embarrassed to say that I said this myself to my ex several years ago! He insisted that we end the relationship but I was holding on to something I never had ( Of course, I didn’t have that sense and sensibility to realize that at that time!) I couldn’t imagine a life without him. I was convinced that I couldn’t live without him.

Here I am, several years later… still breathing!

I am living proof that your ex can live without you. It’s not pleasant, it’s not fun, but it’s also not fatal. The pain will never go away completely, but with time it will subside.

“I love you so much. Why can’t you see that?”

With this sentence the emotional tug of war begins. In most cases, you don’t break up because you are so in love with each other. You break up because one or both parties are unhappy.

“I’ll do anything.”

R i g h t! Now this one though, is surely unbelievable. How can someone do anything? Your ex should have done “anything” when the two of you were together, not NOW.

“I have changed”

Real change manifests itself with actions. If your ex has to use words to say this, then obviously it has not reflected in action.

“You ‘re making a big mistake”

Don’t let these words tempt you into getting back together. As time goes by you might forget exactly how bad it was.
My question to you is

Can you really believe that the one who hurt you most, won’t hurt you again?

If for some valid reason, you are getting back with your ex, make sure that it’s thoroughly thought through, and NOT a hasty decision. You don’t want to go through the same break up process with the same person again, now do you?