Being dumped, you are at the receiving end. Often you don’t want to end the relationship. You want every ounce of the relationship to work, and letting go is far from the mind. I was thinking all along what can I do to change? What can I do to make him stay. Looking back at it now, it all seems pathetic and desperate.

You can’t control the persons thoughts or feelings

Sometimes, you feel they are unjustly ending the relationship or maybe you don’t see any logic in their choice. The truth of the matter is they possess the freewill to do with their life, as they wish. As much as you may want to, you can’t control another person’s thoughts or feelings.
It is sometimes enormously painful to accept this fact, especially if you feel you have given so much of yourself to this other person.

After being dumped, Let go – let them walk away

When they choose to walk away from you, you may feel a very strong craving to stop the progress of their actions. When feeling that you deserve something from this person, it can cause you to behave in very improper way. This behavior is detrimental to your emotional well being.

Letting go doesn’t always seem like the right thing to do at the time. But sometimes, you have to let the other person find their own path; even if it means you have to imagine a life without you, in it.
It just means that their part in your life story is over. Deep down I think you will know that is.

So don’t try to talk him or her into staying with you or convince them to love you etc If they can’t treat you right, love you back and see your worth, surely you deserve better.
Trying to hang on to someone who doesn’t want to be with you is only going to prolong your breakup pain.

After being dumped, letting go doesn’t happen overnight

Letting go your past the your ex, isn’t something you do once and it disappears! Letting go is a journey with steps forward and steps backward; You will have your share of good days and bad days.

I have been through many gut twisting, heart wrenching breakups that really pinned me down to the ground and ripped me into pieces. So believe, me when I say letting go is a process that takes time.

Letting go and moving on is difficult; I’ve shared my experience previously. Check it out if you’ve missed those posts.

• Life After Break Up Building Walls Of Hope Of Love And Relationships
• How To Move On After Getting Dumped

I am listing out all possibilities to cut off contact with your ex. It’s up to you to decided what is best suited for your situation.
Some of these may sound a bit too extreme for you. It all depends on the sort of breakup you had. If the breakup was a mutual understanding, and you have no problems withing in contact with your ex, then I doubt that all this is needed.

Cut Off Technology Links to Stay Away From Your Ex

Avoid Common Places to Stay Away From Your Ex

Extract Your Ex To Cut Off Contact

Reclaim your space as your space

Keep Yourself Busy To Stay Away From Your Ex

What has worked for you to cut off contact with your ex after the break up?

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #1- On Accepting The Break Up

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #2- Don’t Cry Over Someone Who Won’t Cry Over You

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #3- Getting Dumped : Lessons Learned From The Men Who Dumped Me

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #4- Not Forgiving Your Ex Imprisons You (and Eventually Ruins Your Life!)

Inspiring Break Up Quotes #5- Revenge After Break Up: 5 Things To Think About Before Getting Even With Your Ex

ok. this last one is not really a break up quote, but added this since I thought it was funny!

All the mess surrounding your break up can really take a toll on you and tests your character. It’s like a pot of boiling water, too small for its own pot. If you are not careful, it can boil over!

Yes indeed, sometimes, it just pushes you off the edge, of your own decency!

How do I know all this? Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I have definitely fantasized about getting revenge from my ex (to a healthy degree!).

In my journey of getting over my ex, there are few things that I’ve learned about getting revenge after a break up from my ex. I want to share with anyone who is currently considering getting revenge from an ex.

• Getting revenge from your ex, it will make you happy the very moment you do it. But it will only bring you a temporary satisfaction.




• You think revenge will make you feel better, but you still feel “unfulfilled”, will hold your ex responsible for their actions. Basically, even after revenge, you will still feel crappy!




• Some of the things that you do may have a long term impact. Later you will feel guilty and regret your actions.




• As long as you stay focused on getting revenge from your ex, you are stuck thinking about your ex. The pain of all the actions that you ex has caused will play back over and over in your head. If you have decided put the entire break up mess behind you and move on, getting revenge will hold you back.

When you seek revenge from your ex, you “jeopardize” everything about you, that makes you good. Revenge has its way of destroying the very core of who you are. Don’t let your ex take that away from you.

Often I start thinking about the smallest things that I may have done to upset him. I ask myself, “if this had not happened would we still be together?”.

I blame myself everyday with what I could have done better; what I could have done PERIOD. However, at the end of the day, there is this tiny little voice that rise above the negative self-talk. It gives me a very small satisfaction of knowing that I gave it my all and did what I could.

Sure, we all could have done things differently.

For me, the biggest thing I blame myself for is,…. I was expecting too much from him. It took me a while to understand that a relationship is formed not only through looking good, but the attitude, mental set-up and desire of individuals rather score heavily.

So what is it that you blame yourself for?
Do you really think you are to blame for the break up? Honestly?

Getting over blaming yourself for the break up

Well, I don’t know much about your story, but you should not shoulder all the blame yourself. It definitely takes two to make a relationship. Equally, it takes two to break one. Indeed, both of you share equally responsibility for why the relationship ended. ( I am assuming here that you haven’t done anything drastic like cheating etc)

Don’t take it to the other extreme where you start blaming yourself incessantly. The thoughts of “If only I did this instead” don’t really serve you well. Constantly wracking your mind for what you think you did wrong, is going to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s not healthy at all and can lead to depression and other what not!

Sadly, things don’t always work out the way they portray it in Hollywood movies. Sometimes, it’s possible that a break up can happen without it being anyone’s “fault.”; I guess sometimes, it take a while to realize that two people just aren’t compatible or rather it was not meant to be.

Good luck and I hope you find some peace.
Have you been in a position where you blamed yourself for the break up? Did you get past yourself blame? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment and let me know.

How your mind makes your life miserable after a break up

1. You blame yourself for the break up
2. Feel that you are not good enough
3. Wonder what you could have done differently
4. Think that the person who broke your heart, is the only one for you
5. Compare yourself to your ex’s new partner
6. Think there is no purpose in living
7. Not dealing with your emotions
8. Keeping hope alive that you will get back together

How your daily activities make your life miserable after a break up

9. Mope around in pajamas for days
10. Jumping into a relationship with someone too soon (rebound dating)
11. Keeping tabs on your ex
12. Turning Into a party animal
13. Plotting revenge on your ex
14. Drowning your sorrows in alcohol
15. Keep contact with your ex
16. Waiting by the phone hoping your ex will call
17. Holding on to things that remind your of your ex
18. Listing to depressing break up songs
19. Desperately pleading with your ex, to take you back
20. Joining sites like BeNaughty.com and trying to find dates.
21. Ignoring your friends and family who want to help you, get through this break up period
22. Neglecting your current responsibly in the face of being dumped (kids, work etc)

If you recently went through a break up or is going through a agonizing break up, I’m sure you’ll have plenty to add to this list.
How have you made your life more miserable? Anything more you would like to add from your experience? Leave a comment below, I would love to hear from you.

For a long time I was wondering what my first post for this New Year should convey. I didn’t want to write about what most people talk of; goals and resolutions. As we begin another yet another year I am trying to get my life back on track after being dumped.

I feel like a shattered house after a hurricane; everything tangible is lost, debris everywhere and only the memories remain. The rest of the world doesn’t seem to understand the devastation and destruction these things have taken on your heart and, in some cases, your mind. When you feel like this, it’s near impossible to visualize about a nice house, you might one day have again.
That analogy sums up my life after break up. I mentioned in my previous post that I don’t really have much hope finding love again or whether I want to go through that pain all over again.

Building Walls Of Hope – Of Love And Relationships

When you lose hope of love, your world becomes darker. You lose the passion to keep moving forward in life. You give up on your dream which you hard earlier (when you were in a relationship). Gradually, it leads to the death of your soul. That could be you (that is me…!)

So, badly and desperately I need hope, hope of love. So with all my heart, I am trying to re-build the walls of hope and I tell myself,

One day you will see that it has all finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself… “How did I get through all of that?”

I hope that “one day”, is soon!

If you are also going through a similar stage in your life, I hope this post gave you some inspiration or motivation, to take one day at a time and build the walls of hope; hope of love and relationship that is yet to come. Over time these pieces of hope, will provide the foundation necessary to scale the wall of lost hope.

rejection after relationship over

1. Know it’s not always your fault

After a relationship is over, you are very likely to take the rejection personally. If he or she dumped you, you may assume that anyone you get involved with will too. And hey let’s not stop there, may be no one likes you; may be you are not attractive enough.. etc You’ll end up working from the premise that to know you are not good enough.

I agree, rejection sucks no matter how sugar coated the reasons are and it’s one of those nasty by-products that come along with dating. The way you handle rejection is important in helping you keep your self-esteem.

When you are rejected, you often want to blame yourselves for being rejected. But the reality is that it’s usually the other person’s problem, not yours. When you faced with rejection you may try to forgive and forget and make excuses for the other person. If you do that you allow the fact that your relationship has ended to reflect inwardly which in turn, makes you feel bad about yourself.

2. Acknowledge that anyone can be rejected

From the book Don’t Take It Personally!: The Art of Dealing with Rejection
“Every human on this earth has been rejected in some way. It is part of the human experience and it does not skip over anyone. Even the most beautiful and successful people in the world have been rejected at some point. You’re not alone.”

You may not want to face the fact that you got rejected, but you did. It happens to everyone and comes as part and parcel of dating. Unfortunately, we all have to go through it at some point in our lives; so you are not alone.

3. Keep yourself busy

Get together with friends, find a new hobby, join a club and keep social. Not only will it be better for you mentally, but it can also serve as an entry point to your next relationship!

4. Don’t give up

Just because you got rejected once, it doesn’t mean you will always get rejected. Keep trying; dealing with rejection is an inevitable part of life. Sooner or later you will find someone.

You must help yourself to get over the breakup pain as early as possible; watching television for hours over a gallon of ice cream isn’t going to help you with that. You can pull yourself out of this hell-hole and it won’t be long before you’re the one in charge of your own happiness.

breakup pain feeling sad hurt

Accept your pain

You feel like you’ve messed up; you feel alone; you feel sorry for yourself and the hurt can’t be described in words. I know; I’ve been there. While all the well-meant break up advice will tell you to let go and move on.

My advice, have your good long cries if you feel like it. It’s ok to wallow on the breakup for a while. It’s part of the natural process. However, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that the breakup is not all one sided.

Give your mind a break

Why did i get dumped? why did we break up? why, oh, why…
Going over and over what went wrong and why things went wrong is not going to get you anywhere. Honestly, most breakups are complicated and there might not be a “right” answer here and there might never be an answer that you can be satisfied with. In the process you might either realize how wrong you were or how wrong your ex was which will make you even more depressed and will also make you hurt more.

Forget the painful memories

There are moments when you hear a special songs or see a picture that reminds you of your ex, you probably get all sad and worked up.
I would strongly recommend you to read one of my previous posts,
How To Forget Your Ex When EVERYTHING Around Reminds You Of Your Ex

Get out of your home

It’s easy to lay around on your in bed pining over your lost love, but it’s not going to get you anywhere.
Surrounding yourself with people that care about you is good. Of course, you will need to pick the “right” type of friends and family to hang out with. However, well meant, you don’t want them asking you, “how are you feeling” every few minutes! Go out, and have a good time in spite of your hurt. You’ll probably have to force it to begin with, but you’ll be surprised how quickly you start to have fun.

Keep yourself occupied

Take all the negative energy inside you and direct it somewhere else! I prefer to work out, swim play a game or two of badminton etc.

If you are out of ideas on what to do read,
38 Ways To Keep Busy After A Break Up

Think positively

Dwelling in the past and ruminate ruminating over things how could of or should have been is not productive. No matter how much you may want to you cannot go into the past and change things. So focus on the present moment.

Final words…

I’m so sorry this happened to you, heartache happens to the best of us. Truth of the matter is, even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, you will grow from this. There’s no easy way to stop feeling hurt, and no easy way to “deal” with the breakup pain. You have to make an effort to consciously distract yourself with more worthwhile things to do. It may hurt for a long time, it may hurt forever, but I promise, it will over time hurt less and less.

They say that time heals all wounds but all it’s done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you.~Elizabeth Wilder

Yes, the first few days after a break up, you will be able to relate to Elizabeth Wilder feelings! However, eventually, you will forget your ex but.. YOU NEED TO MAKE AN EFFORT ON YOUR PART to make it happen.

Forget your ex

1. Accept that the relationship is over

You will never be able to move on after a break up if you still cling to the possibility of getting back with your ex. Don’t dwell too much on the past and learn to accept that it’s over. You forget your ex if you are in the proper frame of mind. Focus on what you can do to become a better person without your ex by your side.

2. Refrain from reliving moments

If there was a special place you went together, you had a special song or anything else that will trigger happier moments, AVOID it. This is one of the most important steps in trying to erase those memories of your ex.

3. Get rid of the mementos

Photos, gifts and other mementos are reminders of the time you spent as a couple. Keeping photos of your ex all around the house will just cause you to pine away for them. It will prolong your efforts to forget your ex and may cause you to regret the breakup. Do yourself a favor and put them away.

4. Change Your Surroundings

I understand that there is a limit to which you can change your surroundings. But there are simple things like rearranging your room, getting new bed sheets, putting up a new painting or poster you can do. This will help you feel like you are moving forward and moving on.

Also, a temporary change of scenery was also effective. I took a couple of days leave from work, and went to my sister’s for a short stay.

5. Delete your ex’s number from your phone.

You won’t be able to forget your ex, as long as you keep in touch with your ex. Try to avoid contact with your ex, at least the initial few weeks following the break up. So, delete the phone numbers, and other online traces of your ex and make a clean break.
If you are finding it difficult to stay of the phone read my previous post Resist The Urge To Call Your Ex

6. Keep yourself occupied

If your mind is idle, it could lead you to unwanted images or feelings. So it is important to keep yourself busy when you are trying to forget your ex. Try physical activities, some sport, go to the gym, go swimming, go jogging, just walk or do something that you enjoy, but couldn’t do when your ex was around! Here are more ideas to on ways to keep you busy after a break up.

Any ideas you can contribute to forget your ex?