Blaming Myself For The Break Up Even When Everyone Says Don’t Blame Yourself

February 28, 2011 by Persha Davis  
Filed under Break up recovery

My story of blaming myself for the break up

Often I start thinking about the smallest things that I may have done to upset him. I ask myself, “if this had not happened would we still be together?”.

I blame myself everyday with what I could have done better; what I could have done PERIOD. However, at the end of the day, there is this tiny little voice that rise above the negative self-talk. It gives me a very small satisfaction of knowing that I gave it my all and did what I could.

Sure, we all could have done things differently.

For me, the biggest thing I blame myself for is,…. I was expecting too much from him. It took me a while to understand that a relationship is formed not only through looking good, but the attitude, mental set-up and desire of individuals rather score heavily.

blaming myself for the break up

So what is it that you blame yourself for?
Do you really think you are to blame for the break up? Honestly?

Getting over blaming yourself for the break up

Well, I don’t know much about your story, but you should not shoulder all the blame yourself. It definitely takes two to make a relationship. Equally, it takes two to break one. Indeed, both of you share equally responsibility for why the relationship ended. ( I am assuming here that you haven’t done anything drastic like cheating etc)

Don’t take it to the other extreme where you start blaming yourself incessantly. The thoughts of “If only I did this instead” don’t really serve you well. Constantly wracking your mind for what you think you did wrong, is going to make you feel bad about yourself. It’s not healthy at all and can lead to depression and other what not!

Sadly, things don’t always work out the way they portray it in Hollywood movies. Sometimes, it’s possible that a break up can happen without it being anyone’s “fault.”; I guess sometimes, it take a while to realize that two people just aren’t compatible or rather it was not meant to be.

Good luck and I hope you find some peace.
Have you been in a position where you blamed yourself for the break up? Did you get past yourself blame? I would love to hear from you. Leave a comment and let me know.

dumped breakup reversed

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Comments

One Response to “Blaming Myself For The Break Up Even When Everyone Says Don’t Blame Yourself”
  1. sue says:

    yes what u r saying is quite true but u know what what is really painful that i tried to make everything to make things work out and now i feel so bad he was selfish and I really couldn’t continue the way he liked..I asked for time to rearrange cards cause i felt i’m wasting my life in unhappy relation…guess what this turned on me to be my fault it is almostly a year i’m still thinking of him and blaming myself why i didn’t more chances why i didn’t wait or even why i got angry but on other hand i knew after all this if he loved me he won’t let me go or talked about me badly

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