Being Dumped: The Truth, The Half Truth & Nothing Like The Truth
October 19, 2009 by Persha Davis
Filed under Being Dumped
Being Dumped The Truth
Being dumped ……ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down? Feel like dying?
During the first few days after being dumped, I felt everything…. shock, anger, rejection, resentment, self pity, revenge, pride, despair, loneness, sadness, guilt and fear. I found it impossible to get out of bed; my body ached and I had a strong desire to sleep for the next 100 years!
While there have been many break ups in my life, the one that left me totally devastated happened about 2 years ago (2 years, 3 months & 12 days to be exact! Glory details of the break up will follow in another post, stay tuned!) The fact that I am here, writing this.. yes, I did get out of bed at some point.
Being dumped: The Truth
Learning how to get over a break up is never easy
Just because you have been through a similar situation doesn’t necessarily mean it will be less painful, the next time a break up happens. Even if you have been dumped n times, each time it will feel like the first time.
Being dumped: The Half Truth
Depending on how much you love(d) the person, the length of the relationship etc. the pain can make you numb. At the end of the day, you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. No one else can do that for you.
“If it doesn`t kill you, it will only make you stronger.”
Being dumped: Nothing Like The Truth
Endless conversations with close friends, relationship experts, books and advice columns…They all tell you the same darn thing:
It takes time to get over it!
It certainly does, but that’s probably the last thing you want to hear when you are going through a break up; and happiness doesn’t even seem to be in your radar. I know the biggest revenge is to just be happy—and I am! With each day that becomes closer and closer to enough. If you have any shortcuts to speed up the recovery process after being dumped, leave a comment below. I’m all ears!
I am a queer female and used to be in a ridiculously complicated relationship with a girl at my uni for about 4 years. I knew that I loved her but she was never sure of her feelings and always said one thing and another. We were obviously crossing the line of friendship as we were getting physical, but she just dumped me completely, blocked me, and went back to her boyfriend whom I had never known about.
I was completely devastated after the incident, I’ve been stalking her online for about year, but decided to stop recently. Getting over is such a difficult process if not you can’t control your conscious and behavior. I used to feel good for about few weeks but got back into the horrible blackhole for several days or weeks after that, and it was just a repetition of the extreme cycle.
But really. The truth is, whatever reasons of the breakup, however the relationship ended, it DID because it was for the better for yourself.
Breakups are extremely painful, it can be a source of self-depletion, self-doubt, self-hatred and distrust of people in general….but you’ll get over it. At least, I am. It’s been about a year, and I can say that the breakup helped me discover the true self. I was always anxious, always insecure about the connection with the person, but that was just because she was an insecure person herself. Distrust and fear is poison for any connection.
It takes time, but have faith in yourself.
Don’t stalk as it can kill you (I know from experience. Its just poison, and the person is probably not worth the time/effort.)
Try to focus on yourself.
Just yourself.
What you want, your desires, wants, needs, your future, your dislikes/likes…you’ll probably come out of the breakup feeling MUCH BETTER about yourself, more confident (as you’ve discovered yourself AND gotten over something painful), and more self-loving.
Women. Don’t understand them, don’t even try. They’re all f***ed in the head.