After Being Dumped, Force Yourself To Accept It’s Really Over

January 6, 2010 by Persha Davis  
Filed under Break up Advice

Accept relationship is over after a breakup

Accept relationship is over after a breakup


Some relationships are casual or convenient, and when they end, it isn’t too hard to shrug them off and move on. They don’t linger in the psyche and they don’t have much effect on the future. And then there’s true love gone wrong… it’s like a horrible car crash. Not just a fender bender but also a real incident that leaves everybody shaken up. After the accident you’re not sure what happened or what to do next.

Getting over being dumped can be extremely difficult… emotionally, mentally, and even physically at times. If your ex ended your relationship before you wanted it to be over, it’s even more so. As much as you hate to hear this, it was your partner’s decision to end the relationship. Whether you saw it coming or you were totally blindsided by the break up, you won’t be able to move forward until you put aside any denial.

So, take it from someone who went through the process of being dumped, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself day after day isn’t going to help. One of the most important things you’ll need to do is admit to yourself that the relationship is over (however you may be feeling!). Getting over your ex is virtually impossible if you’re fantasizing about getting back together.

I’m highlighting this again,

The road to recovery start with accepting your break up.

Until you do this, you really can’t do anything else.

If you hang onto the relationship for a little too long, and this can cause you to do stupid and desperate things, which you might regret later.

The ugly truth of being dumped is no one wants to get dumped; It’s not in our nature to know how to accept it! Sadly, I can’t make you not feel hurt for the one you have lost. But eventually, we deal with it all, we have to. It makes us who we are today.








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Comments

22 Responses to “After Being Dumped, Force Yourself To Accept It’s Really Over”
  1. Daniel says:

    Yes, absolutely true. Getting dumped DOES suck. I was wondering your thoughts on how long the grieving process should take? I know I’ve been there before, but I think its all different for everyone. I think after getting dumped you whole liife truly does get turned upside down. This hurts so much especially IF you were replaced.

    So, do you think that second chances are possible after a breakup?

    -Daniel

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  4. davenycity says:

    great blog thank you

  5. marco says:

    I never cried somuch in my whole life,I met him when I just came from a very dificult environment!.It was an incredible love energy attraction for 5months,I really thought it would last,our first kiss in the rain,we virtuelly did everything together as life partners,something bugged me tough,he was constantly on his phone,even receiving messages late at night and even early morning hours! Witch made me wonder about it,in the end as he continued and my jealousy when I was drunk,caused our break up!.Boy,I really loved him and still do,feels like some who died that I loved so much!.You feel dead,lonely,incredibly sad and constantly crying! Its very tough for me,he already moves on!!!

  6. big girl says:

    im really hurting my husband n i separated n he is with someone else. he takes her all over town n has no respect for me

  7. big girl says:

    i seem to not be able to get over. i cry all the time. i need to get over this and it seems i cant but i need to. i lay in bed all the time my younger kids suffer as i cant even prepare meals for them. i feel so ashamed, humiliated and it feels like all hope is gone. he takes the woman everywhere. i need to accept this and move on im having achallenge, this is really serious. imscared to go out n meet them. im so hurting

  8. lola says:

    I think being dumped is the worse feeling of all. I was married to someone and now I was dumped during March Break. He brought in two friends and they removed everything. I was in the relationship with him for 6 years. I wish he were hit by a big truck or something. I guess I am just sickened and angry by this whole mess. I bumped into him at the mall today. He had a smug look on his face the a**hole. He hasn’t paid anything yet he has money to burn at the mall. I wish I never met him.

  9. ashly says:

    I went through the exact same thing marco. We dated for about 4 or 5 months. DId everything together. We were almost inseperable. Then becuz i did get jelous becuz he was spending alot of time with his ex he dumped me. The only thing is we were gonna try and make it work. About a month later he got back from spokane. We talked a little bit then I got kinda drunk one night, actually was a couple nights ago. He had said he just wanted to be friends right now. Neways the other night i goit drunk and my dumbass slept with him. Then he ripped me off the next day.

    That part was completely my fault, but he ripped me off and today. I just lost it on him. called him a user a asshole a thief and liar. He took it as a joke, told me i was being funny. Neways i told him that he can have his crap back and i never want to see him again. Im trying to keep myself together here. It’s just hard and i know i made the right choice, but i really did care for him. :/

  10. ben judilla says:

    Yes to be dumped it’s hard but accept the fact, now what you need is to see the whole pictures put your positive and negative about the relationship, then see and be honest to yourself is it really going to work in a long run, i broke up with my gf 3 months ago cuz i saw her with a guy holding hands in the mall this is the second time she did this to me we been together for 6 years the first she’s trying to denied it but you know that saying LOVE IS BLIND that’s me, i try to be blind and deaf cuz i have feelings for her but the second time is the end, she try to apologized but it’s too late, i did mention to her that if you like someone let me know i been saying this for the past 2 years but she have a communication problem she just go to this new guy with out thinking that she’s in a relationship so there’s no respect there and for the first months it hurt’s, you keep on thinking about what you been doing everyday and specially the weekend, but for my own thing i realized i have to do something, then i write down what is the positive and negative effect of this relationship, she keep on texting me and calling me but i never answer her call, the first time i answer her text was this week and i told her what i feel, i told her YOU HURT ME! YOUR SELFISH, SELFCENTERED, USER, MANIPULATIVE, INSECURE WHORE, AND I CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE THAT YOU USED ME TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU EVEN GOING TO A GREAT LENGHT TO USED YOUR BODY TO GET WHAT YOU WANT, I AM VERY DESGUSTED, and she apologized to me like I AM SORRY TO TREAT YOU SO HORRIEBLE AND I AM HERE TO SAY SORRY FOR ALL THE THINGS I’VE DONE, and for me that’s enough cuz i can’t trust her anything she say or i don’t want to waste my time, i didn’t accept her apology cuz for me done is done, I AM HURT to a person who did the most, i am telling you don’t answer your phone, don’t text back just go on your life, the best medicine of all this is to be happy,yes sometimes you are wondering what she’s been doing now, stop thinking about it AND TALK TO YOUR FRIEND’S OR RELATIVES it a lot more easier to talk to someone. good luck.

  11. Stratego says:

    It was a huge punishment for me when it happened, you see, we were together for a year and a half and I truly, truly felt like she was perfect. Every fault she had, I thought was a beautiful aspect of her personality.

    When she started talking to another guy more than me, though, and doing things with him, I was worried that she was losing her grip on us and moving to him. I asked her point blank if she was doing something, and she never gave a straight answer. It would’ve been so much easier if she had just told me an honest answer, but she always swapped topics.

    Eventually, yes, she broke up with me. Not the other way around. I was absolutely crushed, but even moreso with the fact that she didn’t seem to care. She told me to grow up and move on, but I tried my best to fix things. She seemed to deeply regret her action, and I knew if I tried to appease her, she and I could fix this. Unfortunately, 2 weeks later, I was hit hard again.

    She got together with the guy I was worried she was interested in.

    She made sure to advertise it to me, too. Showed how happy she was. It was absolutely devastating. Worst of all, she seems to hang around, like she wants us to be friends. It just keeps hurting since I know she is happy with another yet I’m all alone, crushed, kicked aside, and feeling absolutely pointless.

    It’s hard to get over things like this. Because I had never genuinely loved someone like I did her. I made mistakes as well, don’t think I’m blameless for this. But I just wish I could rewind time and fix it.

    I’m absolutely terrible at giving up on people, but darn it. It’s been 3 months now…it’s time for me to move on. That much is true. But it was one of those every-day-we-spoke-for-hours type relationship. It hurts like the dickens to know I lost that and she was set and off on a different relationship immediately after.

    It was like our relationship never mattered.

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